Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Wax Poetic

"To become increasingly verbose and romantic in speech. To become more and more like a poem."

How poetic.

I have been in the mood to become more poetic myself. Not only to write more but to know more. My literature anthology from school holds many varied poems from 1500 to the present and I love to pick it up in passing and glance at a few before putting it back on its shelf. Today I read several and wanted to share a couple that I enjoyed...

When I was fair and young
Queen Elizabeth I

When I was fair and young, and favor graced me,
Of many was I sought, their mistress for to be;
But I did scorn them all, and answered them therefore,
"Go, go, go seek some otherwhere,
Importune me no more!"

How many weeping eyes I made to pine with woe,
How many sighing hearts, I have no skill to show;
Yet I the prouder grew, and answered them therefore,
"Go, go, go seek some otherwhere,
Importune me no more!"

Then spake fair Venus' son, that proud victorious boy,
And said: "Fine dame, since that you be so coy,
I will so pluck your plumed that you shall say no more,
'Go, go, go seek some otherwhere,
Importune me no more!'"

When he had spake these words, such change grew in my breast
That neither night nor day since that, I could take any rest.
Then lo! I did repent that I had said before,
"Go, go, go seek some otherwhere,
Importune me no more!"

Since there's no help, come let us kiss and part
Michael Drayton

Since there's no help, come let us kiss and part;
Nay, I have done, you get no more of me,
And I am glad, yea glad with all my heart
That thus so cleanly I myself can free;
Shake hands forever, cancel all our vows,
And when we meet at any time again,
Be it not seen in either of our brows
That we one jot of former love retain.
Now at the last gasp of love's latest breath,
When his pulse failing, passion speechless lies,
When faith is kneeling by his bed of death,
And innocence is closing up his eyes,
Now if thou wouldst, when all have given him over,
From death to life thou mightst him yet recover.

I know, they're both slightly gloomy, but I enjoyed them nonetheless.

Perhaps I will make this a habit, posting poems I enjoy. Look out for more in the future, I suppose!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Loves like a hurricane

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy

When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful you are
and how great Your affections are for me

And oh, how He love us so
Oh, how He love us
How He loves us all

We are His portion
and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption
by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way...

That He loves us.


This is probably along the lines of what I looked like when I first started blogging on this site. Maybe a tad less juvenile but I wouldn't bet my life on it.

I absolutely love reading back on my life. The little I've recorded gives such an interesting look on how much I've changed in such a short period of time. I have a diary that I've actually kept since January. That is an epic feat in itself! When I read back on things I enjoyed, boys I liked, movies I saw, concerts I attended, etc. it always makes me so happy. I love to reminisce.

That Facebook quiz was right: "Which Beatles song describes your life?" with a result of "'Yesterday'- you live in the past." Basically.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Le ciel de cristal

I needed another blog makeover.

Deep down in the depths of my "internet-soul" I wish that I could post things that kept up with the new look of my blog on the coolness scale. However, I know better. So, I've decided to think, "If my blog looks amazing then it shouldn't matter what drivel I post upon its lovely pages. It's beauty will make up for it."

Design greatness equals blog-post laziness.

Enjoy random postings of beautiful pictures that shall work to buffer the nonsense in between!

(Really, I love myself and everything I have to say. I just don't assume you do.)

Monday, November 2, 2009

At last...

I need to be inspired. I feel that sooner or later my creativity is going to dry up like an old prune in the sun. It goes along with my theory that if you do not exercise your brain it will atrophy, just like an unused muscle. I very clearly see this in my life. I haven't been in school for a few months now and I can already feel my mind losing its ambition, its drive... Along with it goes my creativity, I fear. I mean, now that I think about it, this paragraph is the most I have written in months! I never have any desire to write in my journal anymore, not to mention my complete lack of poetical inspiration lately. I'm sure I've mentioned this in the past but poetry used to be something that was simply a part of me. It came very naturally to me. Nowadays, I hardly rhyme on accident.

There needs to be something that enters my life that sparks my imagination. My daily routine has been the same since I started working in July and I've experienced no tremendous occurrence or change since. I've made a couple new acquaintances recently but it hasn't had too much of an impact on me quite yet.

Who knows? Maybe some life-changing, earth-shattering experience will come along when I least expect it and everything will change. Or perhaps I need to start pushing myself more. Perhaps I need to treat my mind as a muscle after all. Work it out. Exercise it little by little.

This post certainly feels like a breath of fresh air... It feels good to be writing something at last.

(Sorry, I had to!)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

MJ and Louie the Llama

If only I were in this video with them. I think Michael and Louie and I would have been best friends...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Ma sirène et moi...

Mermaid-inspired birthday outfit of my dreams...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

via Pahlahniuk & Chocolate

Saturday, October 10, 2009

"Happy Pre-Birthday!"

My birthday is October 21st, as most of you know... However, my birthday came "early" this year as I got to go to the David Crowder Band concert featuring Seabird and Danyew! It was AMAZING and BRILLIANT and GREAT and unfor-FRICKEN-gettable!!!!

Me and Liz with Danyew! They are so cute but I was totally digging on the curly-haired drummer :)

Me with the lead singer of Seabird. He's so adorable!

(It's because of Liz that we even met him! We almost walked right past him in the hallway but she did a double-take and saw who he was, grabbed my arm and like FLUNG me around and went "LOOK!" Totally cracked me up! Good times...)

And now, ladies and gentlemen... The moment that brought me more joy than you can possibly imagine:

*Heavenly choir music* Yes!!!!!!!!!

OK, story time...

Liz and I happened upon a line forming in a deserted hallway outside where we had been sitting in the auditorium so we loitered around for awhile to see what was going on. Then out of nowhere DCB comes walking out and I'm like WHAAAAAA??? So we asked this girl what was going on and she (very snobbily, I might add) told us they were there to meet the band. So we got really excited and stood in line. Then we started to notice that everyone had stickers on their shirts so I turned around and asked two older gentlemen, "So, are only certain people aloud in this line?" and one of them said, "Well, techinically yes. This is for the people with 'Meet & Greet' passes."

Oooh man, did my hear sink.

Liz and I decided to then stand in a corner and wait for the line to die down to see if they'd meet us after these special snobby people (I was kinda bitter, if you couldn't tell) had their turns.

Unfortunately, after a couple more non-special people came and stood around us it garnered unwanted attention and a security guard told us we had to "clear out". We left and I cried just a little. Technically the tears didn't escape my eyeballs but Liz saw them welled up in my eyes. It was terrible. I was so mad.

I told her, if there were just no way of meeting them at all then I wouldn't be so upset but the fact that people paid extra money to meet them and that was the only way one could... That just didn't seem right to me. If you pay to go to a concert and you take time to wait after the show to meet the band you should be allowed. There shouldn't be special treatment, you know?

Anyway, so Liz and I left and that's when we accidentally bumped into Danyew and Seabird dude! They were just chillin by the merchandise tables that were being packed up with no one around bothering them. After we met all of them it made my day a bit brighter. I wasn't so bitter about not meeting DCB anymore and I was at peace.

THENNNNNNNNN as we were walking outside to my car we observed that we could see DCB meeting the specials through glass doors right by the parking lot and the tour buses so we thought, "Hmm... I wonder if they'll come through those doors when they're done." So I suggested we sit on the steps for a bit to see what happens. We waited for awhile and the line finally started to die down inside. A random crew dude came out and started moving all the equipment out and had opened a garage door-like thing to do it. We thought, "Oh, man they HAVE to come out of there when they're done. The bus is right behind us!"

We waited and waited and slowly started to feel more and more awkward as more and more crew people were loading up and less and less normal ticket-holding people were even around at all. Finally, I said, "I'm starting to feel really awkward and they're not coming out here so maybe we should just go now." We reluctantly and very slowly started making our way up the steps to the parking lot when a guy came out of the tour bus and said, "They'll be coming out in like 10 to 15 minutes, you know, if you want to wait." I was like, "Are you serious? Oh my gosh, thank you for telling us that!" and we made our way back down the stairs to where the crew guys were.

THERE HE WASSSSSS!!!! He was still talking to some stragglers from the meet n greet but when they finally left he was just chillin with some crew dudes. One of them (he was in an orange shirt... I remember!) I saw pointed over towards us lurking on the steps and DAVID WALKED ALL THE WAY OVER TO US, INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS DAVE, SHOOK OUR HANDS, SIGNED OUR TICKETS, TALKED TO ME ABOUT TWITTER, WISHED ME A HAPPY PRE-BIRTHDAY, AND TOOK PICTURES WITH US!

Overall... pretty good day, I'd say :)

I just now realized that this is the "internet debut" of my newly bleached locks :) Like em?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Disney Macabre

Randomly discovered this gem while perusing the blog of a Horror photographer named Joshua Hoffine. As creepy as his work is, I rather enjoy it. I think it's the part of me that adores Burton and Edward Gorey.

Anyway, it's the coolest and creepiest Disney cartoon I've ever seen. The animation blows me away. It makes me wonder how something animated in 1933 could greatly surpass the quality of films like "The Last Unicorn" and most cartoons from the 60s to now, even. I mean, have you seen some of the crap cartoons Disney puts out now? Oh how much rolling Walt must be doing in his grave...

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter

(via Monsters and Rockets)

I cannot believe that this is real...

I have been a Harry Potter fan since the very first book came out 11 years ago. I remember ADORING the fact that I was practically the same age as the main characters. Everyday while walking home from school I would imagine that I was reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone while it magically floated in front of me.

Since then, I have read every book and have seen every film. I always love the books more than the films but they do it as much justice as possible, I suppose. I am convinced that children of the future will look at this series like we look at Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia- as a timeless classic.

Now, after the series has officially ended and J.K. Rowling has become the 12th richest woman in the UK, Universal has decided to open a Harry Potter attraction in Orlando called "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter". The above video shows conceptual art of the layout of the park due to open Spring 2010! So soon!

Being a huge fan, I hope to visit this place ASAP! I don't think I'll ever want to leave!

Thursday, September 17, 2009


I have struggled for quite a long time with discovering what I am truly passionate about. Sure, there are things that anger me at times. Sure, there are things that I enjoy doing but what exactly sets me on fire?

Today at lunch I had a discussion with my dad about the Holocaust which then somehow lead to the discussion of younger generations and their aversion to reading books. Once I started on the subjects, I could not stop myself! I just kept ranting and ranting and perhaps talking a bit louder than my usual "inside voice" at times.

Really, it just makes me happy to think that I became passionate about something. I may not base my future career on my lunch-time discussion but knowing that I have the ability to become truly passionate about any subject brings me joy :)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Tiny Life Lessons.

Perspective is an interesting thing.

For instance, right now I was just setting my alarm for 7:30am to get up and get ready for college group at 9am. Now, on any other day in my past I would look at that time and feel like sobbing and vomiting all at the same time. Drastic, yes, but that is the depth of my disdain for waking up early. Tonight, however, I look at that time and think to myself, "Well, I don't have to work tomorrow... So, no biggie. I'll be tired but it'll be a good day off!"

I'm slowly but surely discovering how much of my life I can control. Of course there are countless situations and events and people that I have absolutely no control over but there are also countless emotions, opinions, feelings, etc. that I do have control over. Most recently I have found a situation that I can 100% control my feelings for. I don't need to go into detail but I feel like if I can handle this one thing then everything else should be much easier for me to get over... You know?

I'm also discovering how much of the necessary solutions to the crap in my life are almost always already in my head but I never think I'm right or I am just too dang scared to listen. I'd say that 99.9% of the time when I have a problem, I know exactly how to fix it. Even when I do something wrong or I'm unsure of what to do in a situation or anything like that, I usually know the answer but just doubt myself so much that I have to rely on others for the solution. (Or, I do the other thing... which is completely avoid the solution and make matters worse. Great.)

This happened at work tonight right after we had a big dinner rush. The lobby was a wreck but I wasn't necessarily the one responsible for cleaning it up but I knew that the person who was was busy and I knew that things were slowing down so I wouldn't have to worry about what I was responsible for until more customers came in. I kept running orders out to people and seeing how disgusting the floor was, how messy the tables were, etc. and went past it probably five or six times. Honestly, I was waiting for the manager to come out to tell someone to go do it but I had a feeling it was going to be me anyway because I was the "least busy looking" one out front. I knew, just KNEW, that it should be me to go clean the lobby even though I didn't want to. I even had a really super brief conversation with God while I was running an order where I mentioned wanting someone else to do it and telling Him that I figured because I wanted someone else to do it, He was totally going to make me do it. He and I have this relationship... you know?

Anyway, I went up front after that and said to one of my co-workers, "The lobby is a disaster." I grabbed a broom, rags, and sanitizer and cleaned that sucker like it was no body's business. The manager never even came out to see the lobby, nor to see that I was cleaning it (which would have been a nice little perk for me, but that's not why I was doing it!), but it didn't matter. I felt good about doing something that I didn't necessarily have to do and doing it well and doing it because it needed to be done.

I've learned a lot of tiny little life lessons at work, really. Not my dream job but it makes it so very apparent that God makes something of every situation!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

You are the Wind

...You are the wind
As the wind is You

You are powerful
You are calm
You are cold
You are warm

You embrace
You give me goosebumps
You make me feel

You are all around me
You are everywhere
You are infinite

You are invisible
Yet, You are known

As the wind is You
You are the wind...

written by me while standing outside in a storm.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Here comes the rain, doo doo doo doo...

Woke up a bit earlier than normal this morning to an enourmously loud thunderclap. Tried to go back to sleep... Woke up to another enourmously loud thunderclap. Opened my window and realized that lightning was striking mere yards from my house and that (as instructed by elementary school teachers) when I counted the seconds between lightning and thunder... I came up short! The storm was literally above my house! THEN it started to rain and I wanted to cry it was so beautiful.

It is 80 degrees and breezy in fair Phoenix on this early September morning. Lovely. Just lovely.

The one downside to this weather (since vanity must always intrude, apparently) is that my hair is gigantic. I feel like one of the lightning bolts struck my head. How I'll manage, I have no idea.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Summer Stock

I just finished watching Summer Stock with Judy Garland and Gene Kelly. SO CUTE. Gene Kelly is a dreamboat and Judy Garland's voice makes me want to cry. Not to mention that Gloria de Haven! I've never even seen or heard of her or any other film or tv show that she's been in which is a shame- her voice is unbelievable!

Anyway, this was my favorite song besides "Get Happy" which has been a favorite of mine for awhile now, even before I knew it was in this film.

"Friendly Star"
There's a star for everyone
Brightly shining in the sky
It seems to be a part of our destiny

Ev'ry night I eagerly,
Watch them all go twinkling by
But I can't seem to find the one the heavens
Assigned to me...

Friendly star, where could you be hiding
Smile for me from out of the lonely night
Friendly star, my fate needs deciding
How I need the glow of your guiding light

I know that you are near, for I am strangely dreamy
And so if you can see me from afar
Won't you kindly, light my way

Lead me to my lover,
Just point him out,
And whisper,"there you are, there you are"
Then my love, you will be
Standing here, close to me

In your eyes, I will see my friendly star.

(Sorry I don't have a clip of the actual music. I couldn't find a good video or streaming clip anywhere! Guess you'll just have to view the film to hear it for yourself!)

October 23, 2005

The following is a story I wrote about a great day that I had four years ago next month. I kept it hidden in a diary for a long time (like, four years...) until I finally showed it to someone who said it was cute. So, with a bit of updating and an added note at the end, I present... a short story by Caitlin Wahlstrom:

There was something about the way that he looked at me as we walked to his car… “Is there anything I can do to make you happy?” I had to hold back my smile with all my might as I cleverly said, “I don’t know, is there?”

We walked back to the car in silence and started back to the house. Only about a half mile out of the beach parking lot I had to say it… there was no going back, “Can I tell you something?” My hands were shaking and I’m sure my face showed the fear coming over me because of what I was about to do. No longer would I allow myself to be the shy one who lets amazing opportunities pass me by. Then and there, I said it, “I like you… like, a lot…” He smiled broadly and chuckled a little, “Likewise,” he said. I about jumped out of my skin with the happiness I felt at what he had just said. I was so proud of myself; for the first time in my life I took a gigantic leap of faith and the Lord allowed it to work out better than I expected.

We drove for awhile in euphoric silence until we reached that fated stop sign. We stopped completely at the three-way intersection as he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I wanted to cry with happiness! I had been waiting for my first kiss my entire life and here it was in all its glory two days after my 17th birthday. I didn’t care about being a “late bloomer” anymore, and no longer was I embarrassed because I was the last person I knew who had yet to have their first kiss. None of this mattered to me. All I could think about was what had just happened to me for the first time in my life.

He grabbed my hand and we held on as tightly as we could without ever thinking of letting go. We had reached yet another stop sign and I just couldn’t help myself- I leaned over and kissed him back… on the lips! Oh wow, did I honestly just do that, I thought. I did, and I was so happy. We hugged each other tightly and never wanted to let go. We probably would have stayed that way forever had it not been for the car that so unfortunately pulled up behind us.

After that day, stop signs became an automatic signal for the two of us to kiss or simply embrace. Every stop sign or stop light that we stopped at for long enough, we would kiss each other without a thought of why. Who needs reasons when you’re in love?

Since that wonderful day, our relationship has ended. In the four years since that weekend, the two of us have grown apart and moved on with each of our lives, but the memory of the love we shared will stay with me forever.

[Note: I'm wondering if it weirds me out to post this because of what it's about or that I am afraid the other person will be weirded out or both. I am a very paranoid over-thinker which is not a fun combination. So, just be like, utterly amazed that this is posted at all. Thanks.]

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Pure poetry...

Cosmic Love
by Florence + the Machine

A falling star
fell from your heart
and landed in my eyes

I screamed aloud
as it tore through them
and now it's left me blind

The stars, the moon
they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark

No dawn, no day
I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

And in the dark
I can hear your heart beat
I try to find the sound

But then it stopped
and I was in the darkness
so darkness i became

The stars, the moon
they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark

No dawn, no day
I'm always in this twilight
in the shadow of your heart

I took the stars from my eyes
and then i made a map
I knew that somehow
I could find my way back

Then I heard your heart beating
You were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you...

Morbid Curiosity

I know this may sound really creepy to some but I've all of a sudden had a great urge to travel to celebrity graves. This really isn't a totally new obsession, as my dad and I have always loved to visit cemeteries in our travels around Arizona.

The celebrity aspect, though, is new. I watched Capote last night and afterward read up on him and found that I really like this character! He has a similar personality to Andy Warhol (in fact, Truman Capote was one of Warhol's idols!) and his life-long best friend was Nelle Harper Lee, author of To Kill a Mockingbird.

Anyway, I found out that he was cremated but "interred" at Westwood Village Memorial Park in LA. I thought to myself, "It would be really cool to go see his grave. I wonder if any other of my favorite celebrities are buried there."

So, in search of celebrity grave sites I found this great list and collection of names and locations.

I say, once I have time and money, I'm going on a road trip with my Polaroid...

Forest Lawn (Hollywood Hills) Cemetery, Los Angeles, CA:
Bette Davis
Buster Keaton
Freddie Prinze
Andy Gibb
Stan Laurel
Ricky Nelson
John Ritter
Gene Autry
Sandra Dee
Ed McMahon
David Carradine

Forest Lawn (Glendale)**:
Clark Gable
Carole Lombard
Jimmy Stewart
Jean Harlow
Humphrey Bogart
Mary Pickford
Errol Flynn
Spencer Tracy
Walt Disney
Sammy Davis, Jr
Nat King Cole
L. Frank Baum(!)

Ferncliff Cemetery, Hartsdale, NY:
Judy Garland
Joan Crawford

Westwood Village Memorial Park, Los Angeles, CA:
Truman Capote
Marilyn Monroe
Donna Reed
Dean Martin
Natalie Wood
Roy Orbison
Carroll O'Connor
Don Knotts
Eva Gabor

Holy Cross Cemetery, Culver City, CA:
Bing Crosby
Ray Bolger
Rita Hayworth
Jack Haley
Mary Astor
John Candy
Bela Lugosi
Sharon Tate

Green-Wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, NY:
Jean-Michel Basquiat (famous painter)
Theodore Roosevelt's family (but not Teddy himself)
Louis Comfort Tiffany (the Tiffany lamp guy)
Frank Morgan

Hollywood Forever Memorial Park, Hollywood, CA:
Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Porky Pig!)
Cecil B. Demille
Victor Fleming (director of Wizard of Oz and Gone with the Wind)
Johnny Ramone

Oakwood Memorial Park, Chatsworth, CA:
Fred Astaire
Ginger Rogers

San Fernando Mission Cemetery, Mission Hills, CA:
Richie Valens
Bob Hope

On their own...
Karen Carpenter- Valley Oaks Cemetery, Westlake Village, CA
Ella Fitzgerald- Inglewood Park Cemetery, Inglewood, CA
Warner Bros.- Home of Peace Memorial Park, Los Angeles, CA
John Wayne- Pacific View Memorial Park, Newport Beach, CA
Jimi Hendrix- Greenwood Memorial Cemetery, Seattle, WA
Andy Warhol- St. John the Baptist Byzantine Cemetery, Pittsburgh, PA
Audrey Hepburn- Tolochenaz, Switzerland*
James Dean- Fairmount Park Cemetery, Fairmount, IN
Harry Houdini- Machpelah Cemetery, Flushing, NY
Bonnie and Clyde- Crown Hill Memorial Park, Dallas, TX
John Dillinger- Crown Hill Cemetery, Indianapolis, IN
Doc Holliday- Pioneer Cemetery, Glenwood Springs, CO
Lewis Carroll- Mount Cemetery, Guildford, Surrey, England
C.S. Lewis- Holy Trinity Church, Headington, Oxford, England***

*Really, I would give anything just to see where she LIVED. Her house and garden in Switzerland were so breathtakingly beautiful that just to be near it would be a dream come true.

**Apparently, this place is also a garden, museum, art gallery, etc. So, even if I couldn't find all those celeb graves I would love to visit here anyway! Regis Philbin and Ronald Reagan got married here too!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

"The Last Beat of My Heart"

Siouxsie and the Banshees

Thursday, August 27, 2009


"Brought back"

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


This movie is like a dream to me. Seriously, the blue creatures are so incredibly beautiful they make me want to cry. WOW! I really want to see this.

Click for trailer.

Monday, August 24, 2009


Yeah, "Straw-Cab".

I wrote a tweet stating how backwards my life really is. This then inspired me to blog. I haven't been doing this much recently, I know. Shame on me.

Here is why my life is backwards:

First off, the thing that inspired the tweet in the first place was the fact that on days that I work, I usually sleep in really really late because I don't have to be at work until 4-6pm but also feel like if I were to get up and LIVE that I wouldn't have enough time in the day to do so. There was a quote in a movie I recently watched, and now I can't remember which one, where an old lady talks about how when you know the end is coming you spend all your time worrying and not living. I know she was talking about death but that's sort of how I feel about obligation. When I know I have to do something at a certain time the entire day I think about it. By the time I do it and get it done I feel like I've been doing it all day long.

Secondly, my life is "backwards" because of how complicated everything is. Not just life experiences or whatever but even very simple things. I never have a simple answer for anything. EVER. My favorite color? Oh, well it's blue-green but not just blue-green I love all shades of blue-green. "Oh, so like teal?" Yes, but also aqua and turquoise and every other shade. My favorite movie? Well, I like Wizard of Oz, Grease, Star Wars, Moulin Rouge, Amelie, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Wristcutters, Wes Anderson films... My favorite Wes Anderson film? Well, I really love The Royal Tenenbaums but Life Aquatic is also really really good...

SHUT UP. Seriously, I wish I had simple answers to SOMETHING. Even when people ask me about school I feel like I have to write a novel about it.

Oh, and don't even get me started on my boy issues. That's a fricken War & Peace-sized tale.

I just wish that something sometime would be easy, simple, uncomplicated, and stress-free. I wish that my fear of disappointing others and my lack of ability to make decisions would just go away. I talk about that stuff in therapy, I talk about it with family and friends and trying to get rid of it never gets any easier. I'm trying. I really am. I actually had made a list one time of my top 5 favorite movies and I felt alright about. I felt a little OCD about it for awhile like, "Uhh... mmmm.... I don't know... are these REALLY my favorite movies?" while wringing my hands and straightening the rugs and crooked frames on the walls. I think I am a little OCD about things sometimes... I also have the tendency to go on tangents. I bore people when I tell stories. Don't lie. My parents tell me all the time that I do.


Knowing my brain, I'm probably going to write a blog about my OCD-ness now. I apologize in advance.

If any of you ever become alcoholics and I feel I must intervene, here is how it will happen:

toothpaste for dinner

Monday, August 17, 2009

Imagine... Imogen is back!!

When Imogen Heap's most popular album came out back in 2005, I was immediately hooked. She quickly became my favorite singer EVER and I was able to see her live my senior year of high school. She was amazing!!! Then, when I went to see Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, I almost started crying when I heard her voice during the end credits! Overall, I think quite highly of her. Well, she's been hiding away for the past four years recording a new album and it's finally being released! I want to buy the actual CD when it comes to stores August 24th but it's streaming online as we speak! SO, as a true and loyal fan, I have provided you with the ability to listen to her greatness for yourself.


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I Know, I Know, I Know

It has been awhile, I know. I've just been feeling overwhelmed and confused and stuck and lost and... EMO for the past month or more that writing a blog or tweeting too much was going to be a bit depressing instead of entertaining. So, I've been holding out on you for your benefit, believe me!

I've been bitten by the creative bug again the past couple of days. I bought and assembled a bookcase all by my onesies and decided that, with its addition, my wall looked ever so boring! (I reminded myself of Alice just then...)

So, once again I removed the decor from the biggest wall in my room and redecorated it. I am slightly pleased with the outcome. It's not perfect and it's not my "dream wall" or anything, but it will do for now.

I want to mention that the picture furthest to the right is actually one I found in my old high school portfolio. I decided it's just weird enough to be displayed on my wall. After putting it in a frame, I actually really REALLY like it and I'm really proud to say it's my own work!

Here it is close up. Kind of blurry, sorry.

After my mini-makeover, I got the sudden urge to draw a mermaid. The song "Marvelous Things" by Eisley has been travelling around my head for awhile now playing at random times and conjuring up some amazing imagery in the process. There is a line that goes, "I followed a rabbit/through rows of mermaid-entwined strawberries", which is my favorite line in the song. I wanted to try and draw what was in my head when I pictured that line and started with a vine. I liked the vine but decided that I kind of liked it just the way it was and wanted to draw a mermaid separate. I love the finished product!

...and a close up:

I obviously went the freaky mermaid route as opposed to the Ariel-esque. I love her. I need to name her, blow her up poster-sized, paint her, and hang her up on my wall.

That sounded gruesome.

Oops... I took so long writing this blog that I don't have much time to accomplish stuff I needed to do tonight. CRAP. Oh well, you all have been entertained for a short while, and that's what I'm here for, right?

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Artist Discoveries, part deux

I'm only writing a sequel to my last post so quickly because I found another painting that I'm in love with...

Salvador Dali's "Christ of Saint John of the Cross"

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Artist Discoveries

Last night my cousin Liz and I spent the better part of an hour looking through one of my coffee table books called "World Art". I was curious to see what kind of art she was interested in and by the end of our exploration we discovered that she loves landscapes. Who knew? Anyway, while looking through it I made a disovery of my own: Dorothea Tanning. She was listed in the Modern Art section and her name sounds familiar to me, although her work is brand new to my eyes. I googled her and have thus found one of my new favorite artists. Take a look at some of my favorites:

and my all-time favorite of hers:

I really love how whimsical and yet dark everything is. I also love the use of branches, mermaid tails, fabric, etc. to create a flowing feeling... if you know what I mean. Sorry, I'm not familiar with all the artsy terms yet!

I've also discovered that I really love Salvador Dali. Yes, everyone and their mother has heard of him but his work truly is brilliant:

This one takes my breath away:

I apparently really love his representations of animals because those seem to be my favorites:

Another artist, Rene Margritte, I've apparently liked for awhile but didn't know it:

I've had this picture framed in my room for awhile now and never knew who the artist was!

This one is pretty famous:

And lastly, Leonora Carrington:

This may be one of the most bad-ace paintings I've seen in awhile:

She basically rocks.

Google them all if you want to see more. Tell me what you think!

Friday, July 17, 2009


I just wrote like 3 paragraphs about how I want to vent right now but refuse to.

Thank your lucky stars I deleted it all before posting it.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Hook-ed on Pa-honiks work-ed for MEH!

I've actually been feeling a post coming on for quite some time now but just haven't had the motivation to bring it to fruition. I think this calls for another one of my scattered bullet-point posts. I'm sure it is the only way I will be able to organize my thoughts and have your attention and interest as well. So, here goes:

  • First and foremost, I GOT A JOB!!!!! I could not be happier, really. I went through about a five minute period where I was slightly bummed that it isn't at a book store or the place of my dreams but that was quickly remedied when I kept reminding myself that I get to have MONEY that I EARNED in my pockets for awhile. What a feeling!
  • I got back from an amazing trip to Lakeside this weekend to visit my good friend, aka the one they used to refer to as my "other half" back in high school. I swear, she or I could not walk down the halls of school by ourselves without someone asking where the other was. It was ridiculous. Great.... but ridiculous. I missed her dearly and I am SOO SOO SOOOO thankful that I got to spend a long weekend with her and her family!
  • I have a lot of random plans stewing in my brain right now that I am not quite sure I am ready to divulge at this moment. I think once I am more certain, I will let you know. I don't want it to be one of those things that I say I want to do and then I change my mind a week later and make everyone think I'm a flake. Hey, it happens. I am 20.
  • I just keep thinking about all the things I want to save up for now that I have a job! I'm not going to be making beaucoup bucks by any means but just to have steady income will be magical, to say the least.
  • My parents said they are going to take me to Black Angus to celebrate! YAY!!!
  • Oh, speaking of my parents, it is my dad's birthday on Monday and my nephew's first birthday the week after that! I am so excited for both! I LOVE birthdays. I will love them even more now that I can purchase gifts with my own money! YAY!!! (how many of those can I fit into one post?)
  • Um... I like my aunt's dogs. They are fun.
  • I have been playing a lot of Playstation 2 this week. Who knew?
  • I watched Disney's The Jungle Book the other night and remembered after many many years how much I love that movie! "You pompous old windbag!" OOHh mann... they don't write em like they used to, that's for sure.
  • I am currently half-way through Disney's Alice in Wonderland and I have been studying it frame by frame trying to imagine a glorious tattoo for myself. It doesn't necessarily have to be from the film but it is good visual inspiration.

OK, I'm all bulleted out. Time for some cable-watching before I head out to celebrate with Yulie!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

iPod Mixtape #2

This time, I skipped three songs that were just not worth putting on a mixtape of any sort. Don't ask why I still have them in iTunes. Anyway, I improved my iPod Mixtape by adding links so you can hear the songs that surprised and inspired me today! Again, in case you forgot what the deal with this is, I put my iTunes or iPod on "shuffle" and picked my faves! This time I did eleven. Enjoy!

  1. Crane Wife 1 & 2- The Decemberists
  2. Para Que- Juanes
  3. Let's Call the Whole Thing Off- Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
  4. The Porter- Vetiver
  5. Inner City Pressure- Flight of the Conchords
  6. Into the Flood- As Tall as Lions
  7. Michelle- The Beatles
  8. Dress Me Like a Clown- Margot & the Nuclear So and So's
  9. Three Seed- Silversun Pickups
  10. Rest of My Life- Rilo Kiley
  11. By the Light of the Magical Moon- T. Rex *

*This song is amazing! I'd never really truly listened to it before and hearing it in shuffle mode was awesome. It was like unwrapping a unicorn blindfolded. Also, it totally reminded me of Devendra Banhart. He could cover this splendidly.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

"How strange..."

"...that nature does not knock, and yet does not intrude!"

-Emily Dickinson

O Deer!

I'm not quite sure how I would like to unveil this... Part of me wants to discuss how difficult and nerve-racking is it for me to post this in any sort of public place, and the other part of me wants to pretend like I am completely confident in my work... However, most of you know me personally and so will know that even if I had pretended to be confident, you would have known my true feelings. So, apparently, this is how I am unveiling this recently completed project. Please, enjoy.

Oh, and be nice. Sorry, there's my "confidence" seeping out...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Florence + the Machine

Beautiful videos. I want to live in them. They are like a mixture of Alice in Wonderland, Marie Antoinette, and A Midsummer Night's Dream. Perfection. If I ever became famous for my music (which does not exist) I would want my music videos to be like these.

Check her out!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


If you hadn't noticed, I did a bit of a remodel on my blog again. Apparently, i write too much sometimes so I've had to learn to separate my thoughts and organize them in a shorter manner... or something like that. Guess it makes sense. SO, I have TRANSFORMED my blog into a more organized and hopefully more interesting blog to look at!

Speaking of TRANSFORMED....

I went and saw the midnight showing of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (I bet you didn't see that coming). It was pretty entertaining, I must admit. However, the dialogue was cheesy and there were too many moments where I was honestly thinking nothing but, "What the heck?" For example: I was completely baffled as to why they needed a Joe Pesci-like bot and why there were twin ghetto bots with gold teeth... Comic relief, I guess?

Pluses: loud, constant action, Megan Fox has better acting skills this time around, and someone I love makes a cameo. Good times.

Anyway, I don't want to give anything away. Not that anything is a surprise after watching trailers these days. I mean, am I right or am I right?

Finally, Part 4

4. and 5. The Unstrung Harp and The Hapless Child by Edward Gorey

Edward Gorey is crazy. This man can write hilariously one second and then write the most ironic depressing thing you've ever laid your eyes upon the next. The funny thing is that his books look like they are aimed at children but for the love of Pete do not allow any child you know to read these. I mean, Gorey can be innocent enough at times but even when he is, the subject matter is nothing a child would be interested in.

So, if you really want to be depressed read The Hapless Child. If you want to read something that is nothing like the title and yet is like the title but in a very unexpected way read The Unstrung Harp. The latter is actually really funny and I could not help but (WARNING: NERD ALERT) read the entire thing outloud with a British accent. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it! It is the most entertaining thing you could do all day.

Finally, Part 3

3. The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories by Tim Burton

Not much to say here except that if you love Tim Burton or his films at all then read this and you will get it and love it dearly. It is creepy. It is bizarre. It is sad yet humorous at the same time. It is great. My personal favorite story is "Jimmy, the Hideous Penguin Boy". Its type of humor is right up my alley, which will be obvious to you the second you read it.

If you really want to read it but don't feel like buying it or borrowing it you can read it in its entirety here which also includes the illustrations.

Finally, Part 2

2. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

I've had this book in my possession for a long time now and it was just another one that I thought sounded interesting but was never in the perfect mood to read. I finally took it off its dusty shelf and realized how short it was so I decided to finally read through it. I am so glad that I did!

This book is fantastic! If you like The Little Prince or Candide (more on that later) then you would love this book. Even if you've never read either of those you will still love this book.

It is simply a story of a Spanish shepherd boy who discovers his destiny and goes in search of it in a "strange land". He meets a king, a gypsy, a thief, and eventually an alchemist who help him to realize his dream. There are some breathtaking moments of realization and discovery that just made my heart smile. I would love to describe my favorite part but it would be much better for you if you discovered it yourself. I am sure you will know which part it is!

One of the aspects of this book that really made me fall in love with it was its reference to Christianity, Islam, and Judaism all throughout the story. There are references to Jewish kings, Allah, Jesus, Mary, etc. It is amazing how Coelho incorporated so much into such a simple story.

This has definitely made its way to my top 10 book list. It makes me feel the way I felt when I first read Alice's Adventures in Wonderland because it is so simple yet beautiful and imaginative.

Read this book and then if you love it as much as I did then definitely pick up The Little Prince afterward. I am actually just now starting to read Candide (which I have finally decided is pronounced, CAN-DEED) but have read in reviews of The Alchemist that they are both very similar. If it is any good, I will let you know!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Brushstrokes across the sky...

I know Laverne is going to love this!

Looking at the sky this evening as the sun set gave me chills.

This is art...

Monday, June 22, 2009

Caitlin's Closet: The Debut!

Ello, ello!

At the behest of a certain someone, I have decided that I should start a segment on my blog entitled "Caitlin's Closet" where I post photos of some of my fashion creations. You have the great fortune of reading the very first in a series of (hopefully) countless future posts. Enjoy!

Leave your love in the comments, love!

I wanted to come up with a different way of wearing that plaid top that I usually wear open over t-shirts. I'm wearing black knee-highs but no shoes... That happens to me quite frequently. I'll have a kick-butt outfit and no shoes to go with it. Ho hum. Such is life, I suppose.

Plaid top: Forever21, skirt: Forever21, knee-highs: Target, studded belt: Wal-Mart

This is my dressed-down version of the above. Boots instead of knee-highs and denim shorts instead of a skirt.

Denim shorts: Savers (American Eagle Brand), boots: Steve Madden

So, how did that go? Any suggestions or changes you think should be made? Leave 'em in the comments!