Sunday, September 13, 2009

Tiny Life Lessons.

Perspective is an interesting thing.

For instance, right now I was just setting my alarm for 7:30am to get up and get ready for college group at 9am. Now, on any other day in my past I would look at that time and feel like sobbing and vomiting all at the same time. Drastic, yes, but that is the depth of my disdain for waking up early. Tonight, however, I look at that time and think to myself, "Well, I don't have to work tomorrow... So, no biggie. I'll be tired but it'll be a good day off!"

I'm slowly but surely discovering how much of my life I can control. Of course there are countless situations and events and people that I have absolutely no control over but there are also countless emotions, opinions, feelings, etc. that I do have control over. Most recently I have found a situation that I can 100% control my feelings for. I don't need to go into detail but I feel like if I can handle this one thing then everything else should be much easier for me to get over... You know?

I'm also discovering how much of the necessary solutions to the crap in my life are almost always already in my head but I never think I'm right or I am just too dang scared to listen. I'd say that 99.9% of the time when I have a problem, I know exactly how to fix it. Even when I do something wrong or I'm unsure of what to do in a situation or anything like that, I usually know the answer but just doubt myself so much that I have to rely on others for the solution. (Or, I do the other thing... which is completely avoid the solution and make matters worse. Great.)

This happened at work tonight right after we had a big dinner rush. The lobby was a wreck but I wasn't necessarily the one responsible for cleaning it up but I knew that the person who was was busy and I knew that things were slowing down so I wouldn't have to worry about what I was responsible for until more customers came in. I kept running orders out to people and seeing how disgusting the floor was, how messy the tables were, etc. and went past it probably five or six times. Honestly, I was waiting for the manager to come out to tell someone to go do it but I had a feeling it was going to be me anyway because I was the "least busy looking" one out front. I knew, just KNEW, that it should be me to go clean the lobby even though I didn't want to. I even had a really super brief conversation with God while I was running an order where I mentioned wanting someone else to do it and telling Him that I figured because I wanted someone else to do it, He was totally going to make me do it. He and I have this relationship... you know?

Anyway, I went up front after that and said to one of my co-workers, "The lobby is a disaster." I grabbed a broom, rags, and sanitizer and cleaned that sucker like it was no body's business. The manager never even came out to see the lobby, nor to see that I was cleaning it (which would have been a nice little perk for me, but that's not why I was doing it!), but it didn't matter. I felt good about doing something that I didn't necessarily have to do and doing it well and doing it because it needed to be done.

I've learned a lot of tiny little life lessons at work, really. Not my dream job but it makes it so very apparent that God makes something of every situation!


Amanda said...

look at you growing up, chica! :) lol. i mean that with all happiness in my heart. you were a servant leader, not because someone was looking, but because you felt convicted, because you knew that's what 1. you were supposed to do, and 2. that's what God wanted you to do. imagine how that person who's responsibility it was to clean felt when he/she finished with their other responsibilities and went to do that, and saw that it was already done. whether you get credit here or not, God has seen what you have done and has smiled. :) Good job, my daughter, he says. :)

Caitlin said...

thanks!!! i appreciate that a lot :)