Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy

This, my friends, is the beauty of my life... and it's all thanks to Julie that it is now in my possession (which, I just discussed with Julie, is an awfully-spelled word).

See, I make illogical decisions sometimes. In fact, my life is hardly ever what one would consider "logical". I get by, however, so it is not top banana, I mean priority, for me to fix this. Every once in awhile my friends or family will let me know that what I am doing is (how shall I put this...) stupid.

This was the case tonight at Bookman's, the greatest bookstore I have ever entered the pearly gates of. Seriously, this place makes Border's look like a giant-corporate-monster-overpriced-jerk-face. Which, it kind of is. If you want the children of America to become more literate then stop selling Captain Underpants for $15 a pop. Beside the point I guess...

I had two books I only semi-cared about but thought that I cared more about and struck Tim Burton gold and thought, "Aww... I can't afford all of these.... So I'm not going to dig up this gigantic piece of solid gold that is just sitting here in this gigantic hole that would be so easy to pick up my 10 month old nephew could do it with his pinky." Then Julie came along and in her infinite wisdom suggested I put back the semi-cared about books and purchas just the Tim Burton one. Wow, what an idea!!!! It was like Julie had to point out that the sky was blue to someone who already knew that the sky was blue but forgot in a moment of idiocy.

Needless to say, I took her advice and couldn't be happier. Except I'm pissed off about something else now.

I am not a shallow idiot. I just want you all to know that.

I am pissed off about something that others would just blow off and have blown off but I can't seem to. You know how people make assumptions about you and you just shrug it off as no big deal but then it happens over and over and over again and even when it's not necessarily a personal observation, when it is made even generally about you it pisses you off? Yeah, me either. That's a lie. I totally know what I mean.

Alright, to be completely honest, I'm pulling a James Frey right now. He made up a bunch of stuff to make his memoir more exciting. I exaggerate my pissed-off-ness and self-loathing to make my blog more entertaining. I hope my "Million Little Lies" didn't put you off too much. I'm feeling kinda saucy at the moment.

Oh, and this:

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