Everything is Nonsense

#BlackOutSOPA

2012-01-17T19:13:00.000-08:00

World Travel Wish (Part 1)

2011-09-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a bucket list. Everyone has dreams, wishes, goals, New Years resolutions, etc. Even if you haven't written yours down, there are countless things you have dreamt to do before your life on Earth ends. I've written down bucket lists before and have one in particular framed in my room. Today, however, I've decided to get a little more specific and focus on my travel dreams. I've discovered some unique, interesting, scary, exciting locations around the world that I refuse to believe are real until I see them with my own eyes. One day, I plan on doing just that.

Enjoy the first part of my list... (otherwise this post will go on forever!)

Fly Geyser- Nevada

Radisson Blu Hotel- Berlin

"Sky Park" at Marina Sands- Singapore

Conrad Hotel- Maldives, Rangali Island

Norway

Atlantis- Bahamas and Dubai

Australia

New Zealand

Georgia

and although I've already been there twice, there's so much more I wish to see...

Louisiana

The "Reader"

2011-07-14T14:10:00.000-07:00

I have always been a "reader". I started reading when I was really young and never seemed to stop. My dad would read me a story every night before bed and I think that's what made me love books so much. I can't tell you how many books I've finished and how many I own that still need finishing! However, buying books is one of my favorite things, so even though I have probably close to a hundred that I need to read still, I continue buying more. Recently, though, I haven't been able to finish a single book in probably six months or more. The last book I read and (of course) LOVED was Water for Elephants. I didn't see the movie because I thought the main characters were poorly cast, but the book forever lives on in a positive light in my heart. Unfortunately, it feels like it's been FOREVER since I read that! I've started several books since then only to put them down and never pick them back up. I think the internet and my Netflix account hold a lot of blame, though it all comes down to me, huh?

Anyway, I couldn't stand the idea of me NOT being a "reader" anymore so I purchased some books from Borders.com that I'd heard of and had coupons for (yay!). They arrived today and I couldn't be more excited.

I want to list them here and then possibly write reviews for all of them. That might motivate me to finish them sooner than later and then share with the world how amazing or not so amazing they are!

So, first things first...

1.

From Ransom Riggs website

"A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. And a strange collection of very curious photographs. It all waits to be discovered in Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, an unforgettable novel that mixes fiction and photography in a thrilling reading experience. As our story opens, a horrific family tragedy sets sixteen-year-old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. As Jacob explores its abandoned bedrooms and hallways, it becomes clear that the children who once lived here—one of whom was his own grandfather—were more than just peculiar. They may have been dangerous. They may have been quarantined on a desolate island for good reason. And somehow—impossible though it seems—they may still be alive.

A spine-tingling fantasy illustrated with haunting vintage photography, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children will delight adults, teens, and anyone who relishes an adventure in the shadows."

2.

Also, Ransom Riggs. Description from Amazon.com

"“My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people don’t know.”

This reader’s companion to the casework of Sherlock Holmes explores the methodology of the world’s most famous consulting detective. From analyzing fingerprints and decoding ciphers to creating disguises and faking one’s own death, readers will learn how Holmes solved his most celebrated cases—plus an arsenal of modern techniques available to today’s armchair sleuths. Along the way, readers will discover a host of trivia about the master detective and his universe: Why did Holmes never marry? How was the real Scotland Yard organized? Was cocaine really legal back then? And why were the British so terrified of Australia? Full of fascinating how-to skills and evocative illustrations, The Sherlock Holmes Handbook will appeal to Baker Street Irregulars of all ages."

3.

by Melanie Benjamin. Description from RandomHouse.com

"Part love story, part literary mystery, Melanie Benjamin’s spellbinding historical novel leads readers on an unforgettable journey down the rabbit hole, to tell the story of a woman whose own life became the stuff of legend. Her name is Alice Liddell Hargreaves, but to the world she’ll always be known simply as “Alice,” the girl who followed the White Rabbit into a wonderland of Mad Hatters, Queens of Hearts, and Cheshire Cats. Now, nearing her eighty-first birthday, she looks back on a life of intense passion, great privilege, and greater tragedy. First as a young woman, then as a wife, mother, and widow, she’ll experience adventures the likes of which not even her fictional counterpart could have imagined. Yet from glittering balls and royal romances to a world plunged into war, she’ll always be the same determined, undaunted Alice who, at ten years old, urged a shy, stuttering Oxford professor to write down one of his fanciful stories, thus changing her life forever."

4.

Also, Melanie Benjamin.

"She was only two-foot eight-inches tall, but her legend reaches out to us more than a century later. As a child, Mercy Lavinia "Vinnie" Bump was encouraged to live a life hidden away from the public. Instead, she reached out to the immortal impresario P. T. Barnum, married the tiny superstar General Tom Thumb in the wedding of the century, and transformed into the world's most unexpected celebrity.

Here, in Vinnie's singular and spirited voice, is her amazing adventure—from a showboat "freak" revue where she endured jeering mobs to her fateful meeting with the two men who would change her life: P. T. Barnum and Charles Stratton, AKA Tom Thumb. Their wedding would captivate the nation, preempt coverage of the Civil War, and usher them into the White House and the company of presidents and queens. But Vinnie's fame would also endanger the person she prized most: her similarly-sized sister, Minnie, a gentle soul unable to escape the glare of Vinnie's spotlight.

A barnstorming novel of the Gilded Age, and of a woman's public triumphs and personal tragedies, The Autobiography of Mrs. Tom Thumb is the irresistible epic of a heroine who conquered the country with a heart as big as her dreams—and whose story will surely win over yours."

(I don't actually recieve The Autobiography of Mrs. Tom Thumb until it comes out at the end of the month but I'm equally as excited for that one as the ones I've already received.)

I hope to have all these finished by the end of the summer/early fall. I will try to write reviews for each one of them if you are at all interested. I might do it even if you're not interested ;)

So, keep a weather eye out!

Exodus 15:2

2011-01-26T17:54:00.000-08:00

The LORD is my strength and song...

A year ago this March, I had written a post about "Indie Christian Music" or contemporary Christian music that actually sounded like popular secular music in the indie scene. I felt, at that time, that there was a great lacking in this area and went on to compare Skillet to Nickelback. I apologize now for comparing ANY band to Nickelback, who now has less Facebook fans than a pickle... but I digress.

Lately, I have found that Air1, the Christian "positive alternative" station, has actually exposed me to CCM that I genuinely enjoy. My absolute favorite discoveries so far are Switchfoot's "Your Love is a Song", Jars of Clay's "Dead Man/Carry Me" and TobyMac's "City on Our Knees".

Switchfoot was a band I actually enjoyed when I was going through my Linkin Park/Creed/3 Doors Down phase back in my early teens but I fell out of love with them a few years ago and didn't think I would be going back anytime soon. However, when I heard "Your Love is a Song" on Air1, I was soooo enamored with the music, the vocals (which was a bit of a departure from his normal style), and the lyrics. This song spoke to me and it has been on heavy rotation on my iPod for awhile now.

Jars of Clay's first album is one of my all-time favorite albums period. Christian or not, every note of that album makes me shiver. It also happens to house my all-time favorite CCM song, "Love Song for a Savior". That song makes me feel like God is holding me in His arms, letting me know that everything is going to be OK. After their first two album releases back in the early 90s, I never really followed their progress. Just the other day I was, again, listening to Air1 when I heard a song that sounded eerily like The Killers. I thought to myself, "OK, this definitely isn't The Killers because they might be self-proclaimed Mormons but their music is NOT spiritual in the least. I need to know who is trying to be Christian version of The Killers RIGHT NOW!" So, I got out my trusty smart phone, opened SoundHound and discovered, to my astonishment, that it was Jars of Clay! WHAAA???!!! I couldn't believe it, seriously. I investigated more of their recent stuff and found that I loved it all. I can't believe I've been missing out for several years now!

Finally, good ol' TobyMac. I absolutely LOVED "Momentum" when it came out in 2001. I was scared that TobyMac, without his dcTalk buddies, would be a little one-dimensional and... a little cliche, maybe? However, his debut solo album rocked my socks off. It absolutely blew me away! Then came "DiverseCity" and "Portable Sounds" and... well, I was less than impressed. They each garnered a lot of positive attention but they just weren't my style. I was really surprised that "DiverseCity" didn't cling to my ears at that time because I was a total Bob Marley fan back then! Just didn't work for me, I suppose. Then comes "Tonight" and I love all three of the tracks that have made it to Air1 so far. My favorite, "City on Our Knees", I first heard at the TobyMac concert I was able to attend last year with my family. He ROCKED THE HOUSE with that tune. Absolutely brought us to our knees! I was hooked again on my Toby and I can't get enough.

Needless to say, I have fallen in love with Christian music all over again and I feel it is the perfect time of my life for it to be so. Every time I become depressed, I either put on David Crowder Band on my iPod or switch on Air1. It always brings a smile to my face. God has always spoken to me through music, so I couldn't be happier that His words are now coming from Godly people with God-given talents.

Alright, enough of my ranting retrospective :)

p.s.
On a related note, check out just about EVERYTHING Jon Foreman, the lead singer of Switchfoot, has done solo. THIS SONG IS SOOOO CUTE AND RIGHT UP MY ALLEY! AHHH!

Dustland... With a Little Drop of Poison

2010-12-17T21:10:00.000-08:00

Dustland Fairytale- The Killers

Little Drop of Poison- Tom Waits

Ce Soir, Ce Soir

2010-12-08T20:58:00.000-08:00

Tonight, Tonight- Smashing Pumpkins (1995)

Tonight, Tonight- Passion Pit (2010)

Nerdgasm

2010-12-08T20:57:00.000-08:00

Passion Pit- To Kingdom Come

2010-09-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

On Repeat:

Our Song

2010-08-16T01:30:00.001-07:00

Our song is the slammin' screen door.... Uhhh, just kidding!

By Your Side
Beachwood Sparks

You think I'd leave your side baby
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees
I wouldn't do that

I'll tell you you're right when you want
And if only you could see into me

Oh when you're cold, I'll be there
Hold you tight to me

When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in
I will show you, you're so much better than you know
When you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again
I will find you darling and I'll bring you home

And if you want to cry
I am here to dry your eyes
And in time, you'll be fine

You think I'd leave your side baby
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees
I wouldn't do that

I'll tell you you're right when you want
And if only you could see into me

Oh when you're cold, I'll be there
Hold you tight to me

Oh when you're low
I'll be there by your side

Oh when you're cold, I'll be there
Hold you tight to me

Oh when you're low
I'll be there by your side

Hair Redux pt. 2

2010-07-31T21:35:00.001-07:00

Found an ADORABLE hairstyle while browsing my normal daily blogs... Thought I'd share! Let me know what you think!

"Ugliness is Beauty, Beauty is Ugliness"

2010-07-13T15:29:00.000-07:00

Reminds me of Wes Anderson. I am in love with classic foreign films right now.

The Big Top

2010-07-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

I may hate clowns, but I'm becoming more and more inspired by circuses.

The old...

and the new...

Queria Ser Pajaro- Leonora Carrington

2010-07-08T20:42:00.000-07:00

On Repeat

2010-07-08T20:02:00.000-07:00

Here I Dreamt I Was an Architect- The Decemberists

There Will Be Blog

2010-07-05T09:05:00.000-07:00

I have soooo much to process and go through physically and mentally in the next few days but eventually there WILL be a Peru blog post. I am just a bit overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts and emotions that anything I say will either not make sense to you or will sorta make sense but not really or will make sense but sound off. So, bear with me for a bit and if you build it (wait) they (it) will come.

Caitlin = SINNER

2010-06-13T21:16:00.000-07:00

I hope this trip transforms me into the Caitlin I know I was meant to be. Ever since the earliest signs of my selfishness and lack of Christ-like behavior, I have felt that my spiritual growth has been stunted. I feel as though this Caitlin is a temporary shell of a young woman just DYING to let the real Caitlin fly free. And maybe subconsciously, that's why I have had a great love and attachment to the symbol of birds escaping birdcages...

CAITLIN is in here somewhere, I know she is. I ask God all the time to continue abundantly pouring out His mercy and patience on me so that my "cage" will wash away and the Spirit-filled bird will break free.

Peru is going to be the first step of many leading me down the path to Jesus Christ. I want to live my life for Him. I want to exude His light in everything I do.

I'm ready to break free, Lord. I know this is the start of something BIG.

Amen.

The Unmentionable- MENTIONED!

2010-06-06T21:09:00.000-07:00

I know this post might seem a little off for a "Caitlin post" but it spoke to me in a lot of ways. It helped me realize that I don't need to compromise my belief in abstinence until marriage. If this girl can hold out WITHOUT a belief in religious consequences, then I definitely can WITH the belief that I'm doing it the way God intended.

I’m so excited and nervous about writing this post. After I suggested it, I tried to chicken out, but Meg is a persuasive lady (have you noticed?). When people would find out that I was a virgin, or that Josh and I weren’t sleeping together (I know, right? How does that even come up in conversation? I can’t for the life of me remember…) I was met with a ton of questions/warnings. You guys think unrequested wedding advice is crossing the line? Try sex advice. Yeah. Here are some of the things I heard which turned out to be very untrue… (and, uh, sorry in advance. I really like lists and bullet points.)

1. Waiting puts a lot of pressure on your wedding night. False. Well, ok. I could see how this could be the case for some. Josh and I sorta worried about it. We also knew that we’d probably be exhausted, maybe grumpy, maybe a leetle sloshed after the wedding. So Josh suggested we just have no expectations for the wedding night- we would have all week of our honeymoon to have sex. Let’s not rush and cram it into that night. I gotta say, this definitely removed that pressure of The Sex Time. It was genius. I would really advise anyone else who’s waiting to set this standard- not just to remove the pressure, but so that you can ease into getting to know one another’s bodies (even if that sounds like a middle school health class video). Josh had never seen me in less than a bathing suit, and touched anything between my neck and my knees before we got married. “Normal” couples move gradually, right? You don’t just tear around all of the bases in one night (usually). Same can go for Waiters (as in those-that-wait… not those-that-serve-at-restaurants).

2. It’s gonna be awkward. Umm. No. Josh and I were already experts at enjoying spending time together- and believe it or not, we pretty much already knew the basics of, um, what goes where… I think this is probably only true for people who expect it to be like movie sex, and then try to force some fake, sultry, smoky crap. One of the APW brides once suggested that the wedding day be treated like any other day- just be yourself. Laugh if something’s funny. Don’t put on some false self. Same is so very true for sex, isn’t it? It’s much more of an intimate moment if it’s two people, totally exposed and being themselves together.

3. You need practice. Meh. Not really. Like I said above, we kinda figured out how things work. Beyond that, sure, sex gets better the more you do it. But trust me, the first night wasn’t awful.

4. You need to know if you’re compatible/if he’s “the one.” I hafta wonder at using sex as a barometer for that sort of thing. And it’s kind of like kissing, isn’t it? Your first kiss may or may not be awesome, but you get better at kissing as you kiss each other more. You become attune to one another. Whether or not he’s awesome in bed in the first round doesn’t determine how good you can be together- and I’m guessing if your chemistry is fantastic enough that you wanna marry the guy, you’ll do just fine. (Also, who do I have him to compare to…? It’s the best sex I’ve ever had.)

5. So you think you’ll go to hell if you have sex? Not even close.

So if that’s not why I waited, then why, right? If not to avoid the fiery pits of hell, what could it be?

1. Sex effs with your mind. Honestly. Who can say that having sex has made them more capable of thinking clearly and making good decisions? It complicates things.

2. Sex links people. I don’t know how to put this in a forward-thinking, logical-sounding way. But, sex ties people together in this near-mystical way, doesn’t it? How many of us have clung to no-good-people because of how attached we felt as a result of being physical with them (or is that just me)*? This directly ties into the above- it just complicates things.

3. Finding the “right” person. This one’s the key, obv. There’s something so undeniably romantic about having only had sex with just one person. Finding the right person to sleep with or marry- that takes time. And clear-headed thought. So these folks who say they’re “waiting” to have sex, and then hurry up and get married because they can’t keep it in their pants any longer- that kind of defeats the purpose, to me. Sex is important. Take your time in figuring out who you want to be there to share that experience.

4. Self control. I probably couldn’t tell you how much respect I have for Josh as a result of the self-control he displayed in the 3 years we dated. Did I know he wanted to do it? Hell yeah- sometimes it’s obvious, if youknowwhatI’msayin. But his commitment to waiting was a sign of his love for me… not in the cheesy, “true love waits” sense. But in the sense that setting a good foundation for our marriage was more important to him than a physiological impulse (and I’m not saying it wasn’t a struggle for me… have I TOLD you how hot this man is?). Being able to control your downstairs bits demonstrates the kind of maturity necessary to pick a spouse… ya dig?

5. Growing together. Getting used to doing it is one more intense way in which we’re growing together. I get to experience this whole new world, and I get to have a husband by my side as I figure it out. Awesome.

6. Romance. Can I just reiterate how amazingly romantic I think it is? It’s like Heloise and Abelard. Doesn’t the fact that they couldn’t even touch each other almost confirm for you that their love was the deepest kind?**

Because we were waiting, we needed to sort of… set ourselves up for success. Spending 3 years with a sexy man and not touching him. That, um, takes work.

1. Short engagement. Know how I just told you not to rush into getting married just to have sex? Yeah. This is different. Once you decide that you do want to get married, don’t set some 2 year long engagement. That, my friends, is called TORTURE. “Yay, we’re going to have sex together! …but NOT YET.” Womp womp.

2. Lots of sex talks. I think we probably talked about sex pre-marriage more than people who aren’t waiting. Sex is kind of a big chunk of married life… if we’re already discussing if we want to have kids and where we want to live, it only makes sense to talk about what sex is gonna be like. (there are pretty clear limits to this… “Oh, baby, I can’t wait to do this to your that…” not really the best route to go if you plan on waiting.) We talked about likes and dislikes. I know you’re wondering how I could know what I like or not, since I’ve never tried. I think there are some things you don’t need to experience to know. For example, I don’t need to try having Josh choke me while he’s doing his thing to know that I’m not a fan of the “play rape” sex. Nope.

3. More sex talks. We also set parameters and discussed expectations. If there’s anything that’s detrimental to a relationship, it’s unvoiced expectations. I told him what I expected sex to be like, what I was hoping for, and he did the same. There was nothing that was more healthy for our sex-life… and I would recommend it for everyone, married or not, waiting or not.

And now. We’re married. And doing it. And life is good. Some of the important things I’ve gleaned through our ongoing learning process include…

1. Recognizing that sex is a delicate thing. It’s one part of our lives that impacts so much else. If we haven’t had sex in awhile, you can probably tell by the way we talk to and treat each other- that’s not an old cliché, I think everyone would agree it’s true. It’s the physical representation of everything that marriage means to us- so if the sex is bad, something’s off here. What do I mean by that? In sex, we’re entirely vulnerable and exposed, flaws and all- and yet when we look at each other, we’re overwhelmingly attracted (isn’t that a beautiful idea?). Sex at its healthiest is when two people are entirely focused on one another- sex isn’t about physical urges (not entirely at least) or body parts… it’s about paying attention to one another’s wants in a very personal and special way. Because of this, sex is that place in marriage where we have the most propensity to appreciate one another, and the largest capacity to hurt one another. It’s so, so easy to feel slighted or ignored or manipulated or unfulfilled or mistreated in sex. It’s a very delicate matter.

2. Open honesty. If he wants it, he needs to tell me. If I feel like he’s going at it in a roundabout way, I feel manipulated. (How many of us have dated guys with little manipulating ways of conning us into sex? “But it can do serious damage if I don’t…”) If I don’t want it, I need to tell him. If we both have the understanding that the other person is going to be honest without insult, there’s no need to feel guilty or try to hint. This kind of honesty may sound unsexy (“Hey- wanna do it tonight?” versus donning lingerie and sprawling across the bed), but I recognize that it’s just a stage in learning about each other. Like all other things in our relationship, if we do it enough, I’ll get to a point where I can (mostly) intuit what’s going on. But even then, communication is going to be so essential. Isn’t it with everything in marriage?

3. Team spirit. Like I said above, sex in its purest form is not about what I get out of it, but what I can do for the other person. (If he’s spending all of his energy trying to please me, and I’m exerting all of mine to try to please him… we both end up… satisfied, I guess? Can I say that, Meg?***) So sometimes, I need to take one for the team and just do it when I don’t feel like it. Sounds tres unsexy, no? But if that’s what sex is about at its core (spending all of my energy for what he wants), then I’m definitely in the spirit. (FYI: “I’ll do whatever you want me to, baby” is NOT unsexy.) Other times, when I have a migraine or am in a bad mood, he can lovingly (without being begrudging) drop it. (we’ve talked on here about how the roles are sometimes reversed- I’m not trying to catalogue or generalize, just speaking from my own experience)

So um. There you have it. Probably the most awkward post on APW yet. I’m not sure exactly how to wrap it up- maybe, “Go have some great sex, you guys!” I know you’re thinking, “Wait a second. You were a virgin until 6 months ago. How are YOU going to tell ME how to have great sex, amateur?” I can’t. But I can share what I’ve learned on a now-unconventional and bumpy road. And hoping to help Meg open the floor for others to do the same. Ready? GO.

(via A Practical Wedding)

Saeglopur- Sigur Ros

2010-06-04T22:55:00.000-07:00

This band often brings my brain to a melt. A glorious, melancholy, magical melt.

"Caitlin Gorey"

2010-06-04T20:46:00.000-07:00

Some (extremely) short dark-comedic stories that popped in my brain at random times in life. I think this shall be a new recurring segment on my blog. Let's hope I actually keep up with this one...

"The seasoned chef suddenly realised he possessed no real talent and thrust himself upon the blade in his hand. Awakening the next morning, he was worse off than before- not only was his hara-kiri attempt unsuccessful, he had also ruined his favorite paring knife."

"She was such a germaphobe, she sterilized the knife before she plunged it into her heaving chest."

(Drawings also by me.)

Hair ReDux

2010-05-30T13:59:00.000-07:00

I am growing increasingly bored of my hair. I love the length but it is going to slaughter me this summer. I love the color but I think I am done with my dark brunette phase. Not to mention, this last re-dye it went a little darker than I prefer. So, I've been gathering inspiration from blogs and the random Google search to find what may soon become MY new 'do.

Drastic but not insane 'dos:

a bit longer than the Kirsten Dunst style but still wavy and blonde and beautiful!

DRASTIC 'do:

Keep the length but dye it red (bangs are not out of the question but not necessarily preferred):

Which are your favorites? Which do you think would suit me the best? Negative feedback is helpful too!

Amanda Visell

2010-05-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

Not too long ago, my friend Stephanie introduced me to a Disney artist named Mary Blair. The more I looked into her work, the more deeply I fell in love. Recently, Stephanie told me about a similar artist I might also enjoy named Amanda Visell. Steph was right... I adore some of her work.

Here are my favorites from her website:

The Long Way

No Fear of Angels or Rabbits

Hunting for the Sun

The last one is my absolute favorite EVER. The funny thing is, I was initially draw to the girl and sun before I even realized what she was riding on. Beautiful.

My soul is in the sky...

2010-05-23T17:36:00.000-07:00

"He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying." Friedrich Nietzche

All my life I have had dreams of flying. I always fly the same way. I always have trouble getting my feet off the ground in times of trouble. I fly alone. I soar above the clouds. I explore vast green valleys.

All my life, I've been envious of birds and angels. One evening in elementary school while my parents were away, I climbed atop my house, sat on the roof and cried aloud to my guardian angel, "PLEASE! Please, teach me to fly away from this place..."

My favorite hymn...

My favorite song from Moulin Rouge!...

"My soul is in the sky." William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream

and my favorite song of all time...

One day I'll fly away... Over the rainbow...O, Glory, I'll fly away.

10 Best Nerd Shows

2010-05-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

This blog post exhibits 10 shows I either already am or am convinced I totally will be completely obsessed with.

Nerd shows are my absolute fave.

(via The Frisky)

Lessons Learned

2010-05-03T01:25:00.001-07:00

Taken from a past diary entry:

Just because you have everything in common with someone doesn't make them your soul-mate, you know?

Just because you have a crush on someone doesn't mean you love them. It doesn't even necessarily mean you should date them.

Just because someone is incredibly nice to you and just so happens to be attractive and single doesn't mean they like you "in that way".

I have learned these lessons the hard way. They suck. In a perfect world every one of those statements would say the opposite.

And the one I have the hardest time with is the last one. My whole life I've been the type to crush really easily. A guy shows the smallest ounce of consideration or politeness and I fall head-over-heels. Luckily, I'm learning from these lessons.

Next lesson to learn: boys are idiots and there's nothing I can do about it.

Alice in Wonderland (1915)

2010-04-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

I lied...

2010-04-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

I couldn't wait. I worked on her a little more and really wanted to show you how she's coming along! Some of the lines didn't show up very well in the scanning process, some lines are a little harsher than I'd like, but overall I love her. I can't decide whether I want to trace over her in ink or color her and if so, how? Any suggestions?

Droring.

2010-04-14T18:13:00.001-07:00

I spent a few hours the other night drawing. I haven't devoted much time to honing in on my sketching skills in quite a while. Probably not since my last art class, freshman year of high school (wow, thinking that was like 7 or 8 years ago really freaks me out). I have seen and been inspired by a lot of little artists on the web lately so I thought to myself, "Stop being uber jealous of these people and learn to do it yourself! GOSH!" So, I'm trying. I started a drawing of a girl which is a humongous undertaking for me because I have never been one to draw human beings realistically, accurately, symmetrically, or recognizably for most of my life. However, she's coming along quite nicely. It takes a lot for me to say that, for I am infamously my harshest critic.

Anyway, this is all just a tease, I suppose. I won't be done with her until I get in the right mood to perfect her all the way. Once I do, you'll be some of the first to know :)

Wherefore Art Thou, Indie Gospel?

2010-03-24T17:48:00.001-07:00

I'm starting to find that most contemporary Christian music sounds similar. I can see the industry is trying to appeal to the younger generations and little by little, its pouring out alternative band after alternative band to much success. However, I tire of the lack of variety.

On the one hand, there is 90s-inspired bands that are still riding the wake that dcTalk, Newsboys, and Jars of Clay created with their popularity. While the aforementioned bands were huge successes and basically paved the way for mainstream Christian music, they hit their peaks 15 years ago.

Is there a difference? No, really...

On the other hand, there are the countless bands under whatever genre you consider 3 Doors Down, Linkin Park, Nickelback, and Creed to be under. Bands like Skillet, Red, Decyfer Down, Flyleaf (though, I admittedly like a couple of their songs), and Demon Hunter are almost indistinguishable to my ears at this point, much like the secular bands I mentioned before.

I do see why they are popular. Nickleback, though a pickle has more fans on Facebook than they do, is still widely known and can be heard at any point on any "80s, 90s, and Today"-type stations.

So, honestly, although I don't like it, I get it.

Then, there are Christian bands and singers whom most have either never heard of or simply do not exist. I recently discovered a singer named John Mark McMillan who just released his first single on iTunes called "Skeleton Bones". I discovered him a few months ago when I sought the author of my new favorite David Crowder*Band song, "How He Loves".

Now THIS is my kinda musician.

McMillan is a little-known fellow with a small fanbase, who's based out of North Carolina. He writes amazing lyrics and has the kind of voice I love to hear in my "indie" music.

Another artist named Phil Danyew, who calls his music project simply "Danyew", has a song called "Nothing Without You" that I've actually known and loved for quite some time, but completely forgot about until I saw him in concert with DC*B.

Other than those two artists, my search for "indie" Christian music has come up empty handed.

Even if there are other artists like McMillan or Danyew, I realize that they will never receive much airplay or garner the attention of millions of fans. Even the secular indie music I listen to is little-known by the Average Joe. Ask any member of my family who Miike Snow is and you'll see what I mean.

I guess I don't need my Christian indie music to be popular. Most of the time when my music gets popular, I start to like them less. They become property of "The Man" and their music suffers. All I'm asking- and I feel it's a pretty simple request- is that this kind of music EXISTS.

Who knows, maybe I'll have to learn to play guitar, write music, read music, etc. and start the indie Christian music REVOLUTION myself.

In my dreams

2010-03-24T12:43:00.000-07:00

Every night since the day my cat, Reagan died I've had dreams where we find her outside alive and well and realize she was never dead to begin with.

I really hate waking up from these dreams... but I'm coming to think of them as little visits from her. I get to pet her and hug her and it feels so real.

Thank you, God for these dreams.

The Girl in the Fireplace

2010-03-24T01:51:00.000-07:00

Part 1 of my favorite Dr. Who episode thus far:

Burial- Miike Snow

2010-03-15T23:55:00.000-07:00

My new obsession of the moment. I haven't been listening to much else the past week!

2010-03-15T17:35:00.000-07:00

I will admit, it's whack. I will also admit that Devendra's facial hair is not my favorite. HOWEVER, he is still a dreamboat and this vid is awesome.

In the Sun- She & Him

2010-03-09T15:31:00.001-08:00

The Silver Chair

2010-03-08T23:21:00.000-08:00

“One word, Ma’am,” he said, coming back from the fire; limping, because of the pain. “One word. All you’ve been saying is quite right, I shouldn’t wonder. I’m a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won’t deny any of what you said. But there’s one more thing to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things – trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that’s a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We’re just babies making up a game, if you’re right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That’s why I’m going to stand by the play world. I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Aslan to lead it. I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we’re leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that’s a small loss if the world’s as dull a place as you say.”

- From The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis.

Cerebral Atom Bomb

2010-03-03T22:36:00.000-08:00

Oddly enough, I'm listening to Explosions in the Sky right now... coincidence?

I'm at this weird point where my mind is in constant motion and won't give me any rest. I have to keep myself visually, musically, and educationally (i.e. homework, reading for class) occupied at all times or my brain decides to detonate an atomic thought-bomb and I want to rip my hair out and cry all at once. Not good.

I hope this will all pass with time, calm contemplation, and prayer... I need to depend on God a lot more, I think. Never enough dependence on Him.

That's all...

Heaven...

2010-03-02T15:25:00.000-08:00

I'm in heaven...

Oh, to be in this picture...

2010-02-25T19:47:00.000-08:00

Andy, Edie, and The Velvet Underground

Delia's Gone- Johnny Cash

2010-02-25T19:37:00.000-08:00

This video... So 90s, yet so beautiful. This is one of my favorite Cash songs of all time. It is ridiculous, I know, but it is also terribly awesome.

Happy 78th Birthday, my friend.

Caitlin's Closet: The Return!

2010-02-19T19:32:00.001-08:00

I have returned to Caitlin's Closet, this time with more sensibilities. The last one was an embarrassment... I know, I am harsh. However, today I was feeling saucy. Vintage dress from Buffalo Exchange, saddle shoes from Savers, and cardigan from Forever21. All items put to their best use, I think :)

Thanks for stopping by!

Vampire Weekend- Give Up the Gun

2010-02-19T15:33:00.000-08:00

Feed Your Head

2010-02-18T18:28:00.000-08:00

I think Grace Slick needs to be my new friend.

On a lighter note!

2010-02-14T18:22:00.000-08:00

I don't even celebrate Valentine's Day but the combination of the secrets and that awesome song really got to me. I heart it ;)

I'm ranting and raving again.

2010-02-14T14:43:00.001-08:00

WARNING: I am going to rant and be really obnoxious for a minute so... If you're not interested, read no further.

OK.

YOUR= belongs to you. YOU'RE= you are.

THUS

"Your welcome" does not make any sense. If it did, you would be bringing attention to my welcome. What about my welcome? It's like saying, "Yo, wuddup?" and then responding with "Your welcome is a little out of character."

NOW

YOU ARE WELCOME or YOU'RE WELCOME is perfectly fine!

My problem here is that 90% of the people I know and the people they know are native-English speakers. For a lot of them, English is the only language they speak. So, I would think that if you only know one language, you would know it pretty well. Apparently, not the case at all.

I admit, with a bit of embarrassment, that I make mistakes quite frequently. I never claimed to be perfect. I say "like" in over-abundance and that word is almost never necessary. It is one of those words like "get" or "got" that can be easily replaced with another word or phrase. However, the difference is that I am trying to improve my vocabulary, my spelling, my punctuation, and most importantly, my grammar. It bothers me so much that most people do not care in the least! It is even more irksome that employers, professors, etc. are becoming more and more lax when it comes to grammar.

I will never forget coming home from one of my first days of sixth grade and telling my parents that I was a more competent reader than my teacher.

What is the education in this country coming to?

I think I am going to have to send my children to private schools...

OK.

Rant complete.

500 years of female portraits...

2010-02-13T21:34:00.000-08:00

This made me want to cry. I am so blessed to finally know what my passion is!

(via Art Fortune)

The Beta Band- Dry the Rain

2010-02-13T15:29:00.001-08:00

Through his eyes

2010-02-09T13:04:00.000-08:00

Last night was a good night.

My boyfriend, Stephen and I talked on Skype for a couple of hours and, as always, it was lovely.

The thing is, last night was different...

I took all my makeup off for him.

Well, really it was because my eyeshadow was bothering me a lot and I got super annoyed. Still, as bad as I am about wearing makeup at all times I would have suffered through that just to feel made-up and gorgeous on my webcam. Stephen, however, convinced me that it would be fine if I just took it off. It wouldn't be a big deal, he told me. *SIGH* Alright, I'll do it. So, I went to the bathroom and took it all off. I mean, I scrubbed. I got every last speck of junk off my face... and felt awful.

Side note: I've discovered, lately, that I have vulnerability issues. It's hard for me to look someone in the eye for any length of time. And makeup is my security blanket. Without it I feel extremely vulnerable... This is a huge deal for me, if you couldn't already tell.

Anyway, I came back in view of my webcam and felt so weird. SO so weird. I mean, it took a long while for me to stop putting my hands all over my face to cover it up. I couldn't really talk. I kept wanting to move out of view. Then Stephen told me I was beautiful (yeah, I know. He's awesome.) and everything slowly started to get easier. Very gradually I took my hands off my face and slowly but surely started to feel a bit more comfortable. Eventually, I was fine.

His goal (and my goal, as well) is to get me to truly believe him when he tells me I'm beautiful no matter what. I hope that I can learn to see myself the way he sees me, someday.

Latest thrift finds...

2010-02-08T16:39:00.000-08:00

and yes, that is The Communist Manifesto.

Before the earth I leave behind...

2010-02-03T22:59:00.001-08:00

Nephew

2010-01-16T21:56:00.000-08:00

Wax Poetic

2009-11-25T16:27:00.000-08:00

"To become increasingly verbose and romantic in speech. To become more and more like a poem."

How poetic.

I have been in the mood to become more poetic myself. Not only to write more but to know more. My literature anthology from school holds many varied poems from 1500 to the present and I love to pick it up in passing and glance at a few before putting it back on its shelf. Today I read several and wanted to share a couple that I enjoyed...

When I was fair and young
Queen Elizabeth I

When I was fair and young, and favor graced me,
Of many was I sought, their mistress for to be;
But I did scorn them all, and answered them therefore,
"Go, go, go seek some otherwhere,
Importune me no more!"

How many weeping eyes I made to pine with woe,
How many sighing hearts, I have no skill to show;
Yet I the prouder grew, and answered them therefore,
"Go, go, go seek some otherwhere,
Importune me no more!"

Then spake fair Venus' son, that proud victorious boy,
And said: "Fine dame, since that you be so coy,
I will so pluck your plumed that you shall say no more,
'Go, go, go seek some otherwhere,
Importune me no more!'"

When he had spake these words, such change grew in my breast
That neither night nor day since that, I could take any rest.
Then lo! I did repent that I had said before,
"Go, go, go seek some otherwhere,
Importune me no more!"

Since there's no help, come let us kiss and part
Michael Drayton

Since there's no help, come let us kiss and part;
Nay, I have done, you get no more of me,
And I am glad, yea glad with all my heart
That thus so cleanly I myself can free;
Shake hands forever, cancel all our vows,
And when we meet at any time again,
Be it not seen in either of our brows
That we one jot of former love retain.
Now at the last gasp of love's latest breath,
When his pulse failing, passion speechless lies,
When faith is kneeling by his bed of death,
And innocence is closing up his eyes,
Now if thou wouldst, when all have given him over,
From death to life thou mightst him yet recover.

I know, they're both slightly gloomy, but I enjoyed them nonetheless.

Perhaps I will make this a habit, posting poems I enjoy. Look out for more in the future, I suppose!

Loves like a hurricane

2009-11-24T17:18:00.000-08:00

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy

When all of a sudden

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

and I realize just how beautiful you are

and how great Your affections are for me

And oh, how He love us so
Oh, how He love us
How He loves us all

We are His portion

and He is our prize

Drawn to redemption

by the grace in His eyes

If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way...

That He loves us.

Reminisce

2009-11-24T00:23:00.000-08:00

This is probably along the lines of what I looked like when I first started blogging on this site. Maybe a tad less juvenile but I wouldn't bet my life on it.

I absolutely love reading back on my life. The little I've recorded gives such an interesting look on how much I've changed in such a short period of time. I have a diary that I've actually kept since January. That is an epic feat in itself! When I read back on things I enjoyed, boys I liked, movies I saw, concerts I attended, etc. it always makes me so happy. I love to reminisce.

That Facebook quiz was right: "Which Beatles song describes your life?" with a result of "'Yesterday'- you live in the past." Basically.

Le ciel de cristal

2009-11-23T00:28:00.000-08:00

I needed another blog makeover.

Deep down in the depths of my "internet-soul" I wish that I could post things that kept up with the new look of my blog on the coolness scale. However, I know better. So, I've decided to think, "If my blog looks amazing then it shouldn't matter what drivel I post upon its lovely pages. It's beauty will make up for it."

Design greatness equals blog-post laziness.

Enjoy random postings of beautiful pictures that shall work to buffer the nonsense in between!

(Really, I love myself and everything I have to say. I just don't assume you do.)

At last...

2009-11-02T23:14:00.000-08:00

I need to be inspired. I feel that sooner or later my creativity is going to dry up like an old prune in the sun. It goes along with my theory that if you do not exercise your brain it will atrophy, just like an unused muscle. I very clearly see this in my life. I haven't been in school for a few months now and I can already feel my mind losing its ambition, its drive... Along with it goes my creativity, I fear. I mean, now that I think about it, this paragraph is the most I have written in months! I never have any desire to write in my journal anymore, not to mention my complete lack of poetical inspiration lately. I'm sure I've mentioned this in the past but poetry used to be something that was simply a part of me. It came very naturally to me. Nowadays, I hardly rhyme on accident.

There needs to be something that enters my life that sparks my imagination. My daily routine has been the same since I started working in July and I've experienced no tremendous occurrence or change since. I've made a couple new acquaintances recently but it hasn't had too much of an impact on me quite yet.

Who knows? Maybe some life-changing, earth-shattering experience will come along when I least expect it and everything will change. Or perhaps I need to start pushing myself more. Perhaps I need to treat my mind as a muscle after all. Work it out. Exercise it little by little.

This post certainly feels like a breath of fresh air... It feels good to be writing something at last.

(Sorry, I had to!)

MJ and Louie the Llama

2009-10-25T22:34:00.000-07:00

If only I were in this video with them. I think Michael and Louie and I would have been best friends...

Ma sirène et moi...

2009-10-15T17:57:00.000-07:00

Mermaid-inspired birthday outfit of my dreams...

2009-10-13T18:23:00.000-07:00

via Pahlahniuk & Chocolate

"Happy Pre-Birthday!"

2009-10-10T01:23:00.000-07:00

My birthday is October 21st, as most of you know... However, my birthday came "early" this year as I got to go to the David Crowder Band concert featuring Seabird and Danyew! It was AMAZING and BRILLIANT and GREAT and unfor-FRICKEN-gettable!!!!

Me and Liz with Danyew! They are so cute but I was totally digging on the curly-haired drummer :)

Me with the lead singer of Seabird. He's so adorable!

(It's because of Liz that we even met him! We almost walked right past him in the hallway but she did a double-take and saw who he was, grabbed my arm and like FLUNG me around and went "LOOK!" Totally cracked me up! Good times...)

And now, ladies and gentlemen... The moment that brought me more joy than you can possibly imagine:

*Heavenly choir music* Yes!!!!!!!!!

OK, story time...

Liz and I happened upon a line forming in a deserted hallway outside where we had been sitting in the auditorium so we loitered around for awhile to see what was going on. Then out of nowhere DCB comes walking out and I'm like WHAAAAAA??? So we asked this girl what was going on and she (very snobbily, I might add) told us they were there to meet the band. So we got really excited and stood in line. Then we started to notice that everyone had stickers on their shirts so I turned around and asked two older gentlemen, "So, are only certain people aloud in this line?" and one of them said, "Well, techinically yes. This is for the people with 'Meet & Greet' passes."

Oooh man, did my hear sink.

Liz and I decided to then stand in a corner and wait for the line to die down to see if they'd meet us after these special snobby people (I was kinda bitter, if you couldn't tell) had their turns.

Unfortunately, after a couple more non-special people came and stood around us it garnered unwanted attention and a security guard told us we had to "clear out". We left and I cried just a little. Technically the tears didn't escape my eyeballs but Liz saw them welled up in my eyes. It was terrible. I was so mad.

I told her, if there were just no way of meeting them at all then I wouldn't be so upset but the fact that people paid extra money to meet them and that was the only way one could... That just didn't seem right to me. If you pay to go to a concert and you take time to wait after the show to meet the band you should be allowed. There shouldn't be special treatment, you know?

Anyway, so Liz and I left and that's when we accidentally bumped into Danyew and Seabird dude! They were just chillin by the merchandise tables that were being packed up with no one around bothering them. After we met all of them it made my day a bit brighter. I wasn't so bitter about not meeting DCB anymore and I was at peace.

THENNNNNNNNN as we were walking outside to my car we observed that we could see DCB meeting the specials through glass doors right by the parking lot and the tour buses so we thought, "Hmm... I wonder if they'll come through those doors when they're done." So I suggested we sit on the steps for a bit to see what happens. We waited for awhile and the line finally started to die down inside. A random crew dude came out and started moving all the equipment out and had opened a garage door-like thing to do it. We thought, "Oh, man they HAVE to come out of there when they're done. The bus is right behind us!"

We waited and waited and slowly started to feel more and more awkward as more and more crew people were loading up and less and less normal ticket-holding people were even around at all. Finally, I said, "I'm starting to feel really awkward and they're not coming out here so maybe we should just go now." We reluctantly and very slowly started making our way up the steps to the parking lot when a guy came out of the tour bus and said, "They'll be coming out in like 10 to 15 minutes, you know, if you want to wait." I was like, "Are you serious? Oh my gosh, thank you for telling us that!" and we made our way back down the stairs to where the crew guys were.

THERE HE WASSSSSS!!!! He was still talking to some stragglers from the meet n greet but when they finally left he was just chillin with some crew dudes. One of them (he was in an orange shirt... I remember!) I saw pointed over towards us lurking on the steps and DAVID WALKED ALL THE WAY OVER TO US, INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS DAVE, SHOOK OUR HANDS, SIGNED OUR TICKETS, TALKED TO ME ABOUT TWITTER, WISHED ME A HAPPY PRE-BIRTHDAY, AND TOOK PICTURES WITH US!

Overall... pretty good day, I'd say :)

p.s.
I just now realized that this is the "internet debut" of my newly bleached locks :) Like em?

Disney Macabre

2009-09-20T22:07:00.000-07:00

Randomly discovered this gem while perusing the blog of a Horror photographer named Joshua Hoffine. As creepy as his work is, I rather enjoy it. I think it's the part of me that adores Burton and Edward Gorey.

Anyway, it's the coolest and creepiest Disney cartoon I've ever seen. The animation blows me away. It makes me wonder how something animated in 1933 could greatly surpass the quality of films like "The Last Unicorn" and most cartoons from the 60s to now, even. I mean, have you seen some of the crap cartoons Disney puts out now? Oh how much rolling Walt must be doing in his grave...

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter

2009-09-20T20:37:00.000-07:00

(via Monsters and Rockets)

I cannot believe that this is real...

I have been a Harry Potter fan since the very first book came out 11 years ago. I remember ADORING the fact that I was practically the same age as the main characters. Everyday while walking home from school I would imagine that I was reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone while it magically floated in front of me.

Since then, I have read every book and have seen every film. I always love the books more than the films but they do it as much justice as possible, I suppose. I am convinced that children of the future will look at this series like we look at Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia- as a timeless classic.

Now, after the series has officially ended and J.K. Rowling has become the 12th richest woman in the UK, Universal has decided to open a Harry Potter attraction in Orlando called "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter". The above video shows conceptual art of the layout of the park due to open Spring 2010! So soon!

Being a huge fan, I hope to visit this place ASAP! I don't think I'll ever want to leave!

Passion

2009-09-17T17:56:00.000-07:00

I have struggled for quite a long time with discovering what I am truly passionate about. Sure, there are things that anger me at times. Sure, there are things that I enjoy doing but what exactly sets me on fire?

Today at lunch I had a discussion with my dad about the Holocaust which then somehow lead to the discussion of younger generations and their aversion to reading books. Once I started on the subjects, I could not stop myself! I just kept ranting and ranting and perhaps talking a bit louder than my usual "inside voice" at times.

Really, it just makes me happy to think that I became passionate about something. I may not base my future career on my lunch-time discussion but knowing that I have the ability to become truly passionate about any subject brings me joy :)

Tiny Life Lessons.

2009-09-13T00:16:00.000-07:00

Perspective is an interesting thing.

For instance, right now I was just setting my alarm for 7:30am to get up and get ready for college group at 9am. Now, on any other day in my past I would look at that time and feel like sobbing and vomiting all at the same time. Drastic, yes, but that is the depth of my disdain for waking up early. Tonight, however, I look at that time and think to myself, "Well, I don't have to work tomorrow... So, no biggie. I'll be tired but it'll be a good day off!"

I'm slowly but surely discovering how much of my life I can control. Of course there are countless situations and events and people that I have absolutely no control over but there are also countless emotions, opinions, feelings, etc. that I do have control over. Most recently I have found a situation that I can 100% control my feelings for. I don't need to go into detail but I feel like if I can handle this one thing then everything else should be much easier for me to get over... You know?

I'm also discovering how much of the necessary solutions to the crap in my life are almost always already in my head but I never think I'm right or I am just too dang scared to listen. I'd say that 99.9% of the time when I have a problem, I know exactly how to fix it. Even when I do something wrong or I'm unsure of what to do in a situation or anything like that, I usually know the answer but just doubt myself so much that I have to rely on others for the solution. (Or, I do the other thing... which is completely avoid the solution and make matters worse. Great.)

This happened at work tonight right after we had a big dinner rush. The lobby was a wreck but I wasn't necessarily the one responsible for cleaning it up but I knew that the person who was was busy and I knew that things were slowing down so I wouldn't have to worry about what I was responsible for until more customers came in. I kept running orders out to people and seeing how disgusting the floor was, how messy the tables were, etc. and went past it probably five or six times. Honestly, I was waiting for the manager to come out to tell someone to go do it but I had a feeling it was going to be me anyway because I was the "least busy looking" one out front. I knew, just KNEW, that it should be me to go clean the lobby even though I didn't want to. I even had a really super brief conversation with God while I was running an order where I mentioned wanting someone else to do it and telling Him that I figured because I wanted someone else to do it, He was totally going to make me do it. He and I have this relationship... you know?

Anyway, I went up front after that and said to one of my co-workers, "The lobby is a disaster." I grabbed a broom, rags, and sanitizer and cleaned that sucker like it was no body's business. The manager never even came out to see the lobby, nor to see that I was cleaning it (which would have been a nice little perk for me, but that's not why I was doing it!), but it didn't matter. I felt good about doing something that I didn't necessarily have to do and doing it well and doing it because it needed to be done.

I've learned a lot of tiny little life lessons at work, really. Not my dream job but it makes it so very apparent that God makes something of every situation!

You are the Wind

2009-09-08T22:25:00.000-07:00

...You are the wind
As the wind is You

You are powerful
You are calm
You are cold
You are warm

You embrace
You give me goosebumps
You make me feel

You are all around me
You are everywhere
You are infinite

You are invisible
Yet, You are known

As the wind is You
You are the wind...

written by me while standing outside in a storm.

Here comes the rain, doo doo doo doo...

2009-09-05T09:28:00.000-07:00

Woke up a bit earlier than normal this morning to an enourmously loud thunderclap. Tried to go back to sleep... Woke up to another enourmously loud thunderclap. Opened my window and realized that lightning was striking mere yards from my house and that (as instructed by elementary school teachers) when I counted the seconds between lightning and thunder... I came up short! The storm was literally above my house! THEN it started to rain and I wanted to cry it was so beautiful.

It is 80 degrees and breezy in fair Phoenix on this early September morning. Lovely. Just lovely.

P.S.
The one downside to this weather (since vanity must always intrude, apparently) is that my hair is gigantic. I feel like one of the lightning bolts struck my head. How I'll manage, I have no idea.

Summer Stock

2009-09-03T15:36:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching Summer Stock with Judy Garland and Gene Kelly. SO CUTE. Gene Kelly is a dreamboat and Judy Garland's voice makes me want to cry. Not to mention that Gloria de Haven! I've never even seen or heard of her or any other film or tv show that she's been in which is a shame- her voice is unbelievable!

Anyway, this was my favorite song besides "Get Happy" which has been a favorite of mine for awhile now, even before I knew it was in this film.

"Friendly Star"
There's a star for everyone
Brightly shining in the sky
It seems to be a part of our destiny

Ev'ry night I eagerly,
Watch them all go twinkling by
But I can't seem to find the one the heavens
Assigned to me...

Friendly star, where could you be hiding
Smile for me from out of the lonely night
Friendly star, my fate needs deciding
How I need the glow of your guiding light

I know that you are near, for I am strangely dreamy
And so if you can see me from afar
Won't you kindly, light my way

Lead me to my lover,
Just point him out,
And whisper,"there you are, there you are"
Then my love, you will be
Standing here, close to me

In your eyes, I will see my friendly star.

(Sorry I don't have a clip of the actual music. I couldn't find a good video or streaming clip anywhere! Guess you'll just have to view the film to hear it for yourself!)

October 23, 2005

2009-09-03T01:33:00.000-07:00

The following is a story I wrote about a great day that I had four years ago next month. I kept it hidden in a diary for a long time (like, four years...) until I finally showed it to someone who said it was cute. So, with a bit of updating and an added note at the end, I present... a short story by Caitlin Wahlstrom:

There was something about the way that he looked at me as we walked to his car… “Is there anything I can do to make you happy?” I had to hold back my smile with all my might as I cleverly said, “I don’t know, is there?”

We walked back to the car in silence and started back to the house. Only about a half mile out of the beach parking lot I had to say it… there was no going back, “Can I tell you something?” My hands were shaking and I’m sure my face showed the fear coming over me because of what I was about to do. No longer would I allow myself to be the shy one who lets amazing opportunities pass me by. Then and there, I said it, “I like you… like, a lot…” He smiled broadly and chuckled a little, “Likewise,” he said. I about jumped out of my skin with the happiness I felt at what he had just said. I was so proud of myself; for the first time in my life I took a gigantic leap of faith and the Lord allowed it to work out better than I expected.

We drove for awhile in euphoric silence until we reached that fated stop sign. We stopped completely at the three-way intersection as he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I wanted to cry with happiness! I had been waiting for my first kiss my entire life and here it was in all its glory two days after my 17th birthday. I didn’t care about being a “late bloomer” anymore, and no longer was I embarrassed because I was the last person I knew who had yet to have their first kiss. None of this mattered to me. All I could think about was what had just happened to me for the first time in my life.

He grabbed my hand and we held on as tightly as we could without ever thinking of letting go. We had reached yet another stop sign and I just couldn’t help myself- I leaned over and kissed him back… on the lips! Oh wow, did I honestly just do that, I thought. I did, and I was so happy. We hugged each other tightly and never wanted to let go. We probably would have stayed that way forever had it not been for the car that so unfortunately pulled up behind us.

After that day, stop signs became an automatic signal for the two of us to kiss or simply embrace. Every stop sign or stop light that we stopped at for long enough, we would kiss each other without a thought of why. Who needs reasons when you’re in love?

Since that wonderful day, our relationship has ended. In the four years since that weekend, the two of us have grown apart and moved on with each of our lives, but the memory of the love we shared will stay with me forever.

[Note: I'm wondering if it weirds me out to post this because of what it's about or that I am afraid the other person will be weirded out or both. I am a very paranoid over-thinker which is not a fun combination. So, just be like, utterly amazed that this is posted at all. Thanks.]

Pure poetry...

2009-09-01T22:23:00.000-07:00

Cosmic Love
by Florence + the Machine

A falling star
fell from your heart
and landed in my eyes

I screamed aloud
as it tore through them
and now it's left me blind

The stars, the moon
they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark

No dawn, no day
I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

And in the dark
I can hear your heart beat
I try to find the sound

But then it stopped
and I was in the darkness
so darkness i became

The stars, the moon
they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark

No dawn, no day
I'm always in this twilight
in the shadow of your heart

I took the stars from my eyes
and then i made a map
I knew that somehow
I could find my way back

Then I heard your heart beating
You were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you...

Morbid Curiosity

2009-09-01T14:27:00.000-07:00

I know this may sound really creepy to some but I've all of a sudden had a great urge to travel to celebrity graves. This really isn't a totally new obsession, as my dad and I have always loved to visit cemeteries in our travels around Arizona.

The celebrity aspect, though, is new. I watched Capote last night and afterward read up on him and found that I really like this character! He has a similar personality to Andy Warhol (in fact, Truman Capote was one of Warhol's idols!) and his life-long best friend was Nelle Harper Lee, author of To Kill a Mockingbird.

Anyway, I found out that he was cremated but "interred" at Westwood Village Memorial Park in LA. I thought to myself, "It would be really cool to go see his grave. I wonder if any other of my favorite celebrities are buried there."

So, in search of celebrity grave sites I found this great list and collection of names and locations.

I say, once I have time and money, I'm going on a road trip with my Polaroid...

Forest Lawn (Hollywood Hills) Cemetery, Los Angeles, CA:
Bette Davis
Buster Keaton
Liberace
Freddie Prinze
Andy Gibb
Stan Laurel
Ricky Nelson
John Ritter
Gene Autry
Sandra Dee
Ed McMahon
David Carradine

Forest Lawn (Glendale)**:
Clark Gable
Carole Lombard
Jimmy Stewart
Jean Harlow
Humphrey Bogart
Mary Pickford
Errol Flynn
Spencer Tracy
Walt Disney
Sammy Davis, Jr
Nat King Cole
L. Frank Baum(!)

Ferncliff Cemetery, Hartsdale, NY:
Judy Garland
Aaliyah
Joan Crawford

Westwood Village Memorial Park, Los Angeles, CA:
Truman Capote
Marilyn Monroe
Donna Reed
Dean Martin
Natalie Wood
Roy Orbison
Carroll O'Connor
Don Knotts
Eva Gabor

Holy Cross Cemetery, Culver City, CA:
Bing Crosby
Ray Bolger
Rita Hayworth
Jack Haley
Mary Astor
John Candy
Bela Lugosi
Sharon Tate

Green-Wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, NY:
Jean-Michel Basquiat (famous painter)
Theodore Roosevelt's family (but not Teddy himself)
Louis Comfort Tiffany (the Tiffany lamp guy)
Frank Morgan

Hollywood Forever Memorial Park, Hollywood, CA:
Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Porky Pig!)
Cecil B. Demille
Victor Fleming (director of Wizard of Oz and Gone with the Wind)
Johnny Ramone

Oakwood Memorial Park, Chatsworth, CA:
Fred Astaire
Ginger Rogers

San Fernando Mission Cemetery, Mission Hills, CA:
Richie Valens
Bob Hope

On their own...
Karen Carpenter- Valley Oaks Cemetery, Westlake Village, CA
Ella Fitzgerald- Inglewood Park Cemetery, Inglewood, CA
Warner Bros.- Home of Peace Memorial Park, Los Angeles, CA
John Wayne- Pacific View Memorial Park, Newport Beach, CA
Jimi Hendrix- Greenwood Memorial Cemetery, Seattle, WA
Andy Warhol- St. John the Baptist Byzantine Cemetery, Pittsburgh, PA
Audrey Hepburn- Tolochenaz, Switzerland*
James Dean- Fairmount Park Cemetery, Fairmount, IN
Harry Houdini- Machpelah Cemetery, Flushing, NY
Bonnie and Clyde- Crown Hill Memorial Park, Dallas, TX
John Dillinger- Crown Hill Cemetery, Indianapolis, IN
Doc Holliday- Pioneer Cemetery, Glenwood Springs, CO
Lewis Carroll- Mount Cemetery, Guildford, Surrey, England
C.S. Lewis- Holy Trinity Church, Headington, Oxford, England***

*Really, I would give anything just to see where she LIVED. Her house and garden in Switzerland were so breathtakingly beautiful that just to be near it would be a dream come true.

**Apparently, this place is also a garden, museum, art gallery, etc. So, even if I couldn't find all those celeb graves I would love to visit here anyway! Regis Philbin and Ronald Reagan got married here too!

"The Last Beat of My Heart"

2009-08-29T01:23:00.000-07:00

Siouxsie and the Banshees

Redux

2009-08-27T03:28:00.000-07:00

"Brought back"

Avatar

2009-08-25T13:24:00.000-07:00

This movie is like a dream to me. Seriously, the blue creatures are so incredibly beautiful they make me want to cry. WOW! I really want to see this.

Click for trailer.

SDRAWKCAB

2009-08-24T23:09:00.000-07:00

Yeah, "Straw-Cab".

I wrote a tweet stating how backwards my life really is. This then inspired me to blog. I haven't been doing this much recently, I know. Shame on me.

Here is why my life is backwards:

First off, the thing that inspired the tweet in the first place was the fact that on days that I work, I usually sleep in really really late because I don't have to be at work until 4-6pm but also feel like if I were to get up and LIVE that I wouldn't have enough time in the day to do so. There was a quote in a movie I recently watched, and now I can't remember which one, where an old lady talks about how when you know the end is coming you spend all your time worrying and not living. I know she was talking about death but that's sort of how I feel about obligation. When I know I have to do something at a certain time the entire day I think about it. By the time I do it and get it done I feel like I've been doing it all day long.

Secondly, my life is "backwards" because of how complicated everything is. Not just life experiences or whatever but even very simple things. I never have a simple answer for anything. EVER. My favorite color? Oh, well it's blue-green but not just blue-green I love all shades of blue-green. "Oh, so like teal?" Yes, but also aqua and turquoise and every other shade. My favorite movie? Well, I like Wizard of Oz, Grease, Star Wars, Moulin Rouge, Amelie, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Wristcutters, Wes Anderson films... My favorite Wes Anderson film? Well, I really love The Royal Tenenbaums but Life Aquatic is also really really good...

SHUT UP. Seriously, I wish I had simple answers to SOMETHING. Even when people ask me about school I feel like I have to write a novel about it.

Oh, and don't even get me started on my boy issues. That's a fricken War & Peace-sized tale.

I just wish that something sometime would be easy, simple, uncomplicated, and stress-free. I wish that my fear of disappointing others and my lack of ability to make decisions would just go away. I talk about that stuff in therapy, I talk about it with family and friends and trying to get rid of it never gets any easier. I'm trying. I really am. I actually had made a list one time of my top 5 favorite movies and I felt alright about. I felt a little OCD about it for awhile like, "Uhh... mmmm.... I don't know... are these REALLY my favorite movies?" while wringing my hands and straightening the rugs and crooked frames on the walls. I think I am a little OCD about things sometimes... I also have the tendency to go on tangents. I bore people when I tell stories. Don't lie. My parents tell me all the time that I do.

See.

Knowing my brain, I'm probably going to write a blog about my OCD-ness now. I apologize in advance.

P.S.
If any of you ever become alcoholics and I feel I must intervene, here is how it will happen:

toothpastefordinner.com

Imagine... Imogen is back!!

2009-08-17T23:35:00.000-07:00

When Imogen Heap's most popular album came out back in 2005, I was immediately hooked. She quickly became my favorite singer EVER and I was able to see her live my senior year of high school. She was amazing!!! Then, when I went to see Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, I almost started crying when I heard her voice during the end credits! Overall, I think quite highly of her. Well, she's been hiding away for the past four years recording a new album and it's finally being released! I want to buy the actual CD when it comes to stores August 24th but it's streaming online as we speak! SO, as a true and loyal fan, I have provided you with the ability to listen to her greatness for yourself.

ENJOY!

I Know, I Know, I Know

2009-08-11T18:56:00.001-07:00

It has been awhile, I know. I've just been feeling overwhelmed and confused and stuck and lost and... EMO for the past month or more that writing a blog or tweeting too much was going to be a bit depressing instead of entertaining. So, I've been holding out on you for your benefit, believe me!

I've been bitten by the creative bug again the past couple of days. I bought and assembled a bookcase all by my onesies and decided that, with its addition, my wall looked ever so boring! (I reminded myself of Alice just then...)

So, once again I removed the decor from the biggest wall in my room and redecorated it. I am slightly pleased with the outcome. It's not perfect and it's not my "dream wall" or anything, but it will do for now.

I want to mention that the picture furthest to the right is actually one I found in my old high school portfolio. I decided it's just weird enough to be displayed on my wall. After putting it in a frame, I actually really REALLY like it and I'm really proud to say it's my own work!

Here it is close up. Kind of blurry, sorry.

After my mini-makeover, I got the sudden urge to draw a mermaid. The song "Marvelous Things" by Eisley has been travelling around my head for awhile now playing at random times and conjuring up some amazing imagery in the process. There is a line that goes, "I followed a rabbit/through rows of mermaid-entwined strawberries", which is my favorite line in the song. I wanted to try and draw what was in my head when I pictured that line and started with a vine. I liked the vine but decided that I kind of liked it just the way it was and wanted to draw a mermaid separate. I love the finished product!

...and a close up:

I obviously went the freaky mermaid route as opposed to the Ariel-esque. I love her. I need to name her, blow her up poster-sized, paint her, and hang her up on my wall.

That sounded gruesome.

Oops... I took so long writing this blog that I don't have much time to accomplish stuff I needed to do tonight. CRAP. Oh well, you all have been entertained for a short while, and that's what I'm here for, right?

Artist Discoveries, part deux

2009-07-30T13:20:00.000-07:00

I'm only writing a sequel to my last post so quickly because I found another painting that I'm in love with...

Salvador Dali's "Christ of Saint John of the Cross"

Artist Discoveries

2009-07-28T13:14:00.000-07:00

Last night my cousin Liz and I spent the better part of an hour looking through one of my coffee table books called "World Art". I was curious to see what kind of art she was interested in and by the end of our exploration we discovered that she loves landscapes. Who knew? Anyway, while looking through it I made a disovery of my own: Dorothea Tanning. She was listed in the Modern Art section and her name sounds familiar to me, although her work is brand new to my eyes. I googled her and have thus found one of my new favorite artists. Take a look at some of my favorites:

and my all-time favorite of hers:

I really love how whimsical and yet dark everything is. I also love the use of branches, mermaid tails, fabric, etc. to create a flowing feeling... if you know what I mean. Sorry, I'm not familiar with all the artsy terms yet!

I've also discovered that I really love Salvador Dali. Yes, everyone and their mother has heard of him but his work truly is brilliant:

This one takes my breath away:

I apparently really love his representations of animals because those seem to be my favorites:

Another artist, Rene Margritte, I've apparently liked for awhile but didn't know it:

I've had this picture framed in my room for awhile now and never knew who the artist was!

This one is pretty famous:

And lastly, Leonora Carrington:

This may be one of the most bad-ace paintings I've seen in awhile:

She basically rocks.

Google them all if you want to see more. Tell me what you think!

FYI

2009-07-17T03:17:00.001-07:00

I just wrote like 3 paragraphs about how I want to vent right now but refuse to.

Thank your lucky stars I deleted it all before posting it.

Hook-ed on Pa-honiks work-ed for MEH!

2009-07-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

I've actually been feeling a post coming on for quite some time now but just haven't had the motivation to bring it to fruition. I think this calls for another one of my scattered bullet-point posts. I'm sure it is the only way I will be able to organize my thoughts and have your attention and interest as well. So, here goes:

First and foremost, I GOT A JOB!!!!! I could not be happier, really. I went through about a five minute period where I was slightly bummed that it isn't at a book store or the place of my dreams but that was quickly remedied when I kept reminding myself that I get to have MONEY that I EARNED in my pockets for awhile. What a feeling!
I got back from an amazing trip to Lakeside this weekend to visit my good friend, aka the one they used to refer to as my "other half" back in high school. I swear, she or I could not walk down the halls of school by ourselves without someone asking where the other was. It was ridiculous. Great.... but ridiculous. I missed her dearly and I am SOO SOO SOOOO thankful that I got to spend a long weekend with her and her family!
I have a lot of random plans stewing in my brain right now that I am not quite sure I am ready to divulge at this moment. I think once I am more certain, I will let you know. I don't want it to be one of those things that I say I want to do and then I change my mind a week later and make everyone think I'm a flake. Hey, it happens. I am 20.
I just keep thinking about all the things I want to save up for now that I have a job! I'm not going to be making beaucoup bucks by any means but just to have steady income will be magical, to say the least.
My parents said they are going to take me to Black Angus to celebrate! YAY!!!
Oh, speaking of my parents, it is my dad's birthday on Monday and my nephew's first birthday the week after that! I am so excited for both! I LOVE birthdays. I will love them even more now that I can purchase gifts with my own money! YAY!!! (how many of those can I fit into one post?)
Um... I like my aunt's dogs. They are fun.
I have been playing a lot of Playstation 2 this week. Who knew?
I watched Disney's The Jungle Book the other night and remembered after many many years how much I love that movie! "You pompous old windbag!" OOHh mann... they don't write em like they used to, that's for sure.
I am currently half-way through Disney's Alice in Wonderland and I have been studying it frame by frame trying to imagine a glorious tattoo for myself. It doesn't necessarily have to be from the film but it is good visual inspiration.

OK, I'm all bulleted out. Time for some cable-watching before I head out to celebrate with Yulie!

iPod Mixtape #2

2009-06-30T21:24:00.000-07:00

This time, I skipped three songs that were just not worth putting on a mixtape of any sort. Don't ask why I still have them in iTunes. Anyway, I improved my iPod Mixtape by adding links so you can hear the songs that surprised and inspired me today! Again, in case you forgot what the deal with this is, I put my iTunes or iPod on "shuffle" and picked my faves! This time I did eleven. Enjoy!

*This song is amazing! I'd never really truly listened to it before and hearing it in shuffle mode was awesome. It was like unwrapping a unicorn blindfolded. Also, it totally reminded me of Devendra Banhart. He could cover this splendidly.

"How strange..."

2009-06-28T19:51:00.000-07:00

"...that nature does not knock, and yet does not intrude!"

-Emily Dickinson

O Deer!

2009-06-28T16:56:00.000-07:00

I'm not quite sure how I would like to unveil this... Part of me wants to discuss how difficult and nerve-racking is it for me to post this in any sort of public place, and the other part of me wants to pretend like I am completely confident in my work... However, most of you know me personally and so will know that even if I had pretended to be confident, you would have known my true feelings. So, apparently, this is how I am unveiling this recently completed project. Please, enjoy.

Oh, and be nice. Sorry, there's my "confidence" seeping out...

Florence + the Machine

2009-06-25T01:10:00.000-07:00

Beautiful videos. I want to live in them. They are like a mixture of Alice in Wonderland, Marie Antoinette, and A Midsummer Night's Dream. Perfection. If I ever became famous for my music (which does not exist) I would want my music videos to be like these.

Check her out!

Transform

2009-06-24T03:27:00.000-07:00

If you hadn't noticed, I did a bit of a remodel on my blog again. Apparently, i write too much sometimes so I've had to learn to separate my thoughts and organize them in a shorter manner... or something like that. Guess it makes sense. SO, I have TRANSFORMED my blog into a more organized and hopefully more interesting blog to look at!

Speaking of TRANSFORMED....

I went and saw the midnight showing of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (I bet you didn't see that coming). It was pretty entertaining, I must admit. However, the dialogue was cheesy and there were too many moments where I was honestly thinking nothing but, "What the heck?" For example: I was completely baffled as to why they needed a Joe Pesci-like bot and why there were twin ghetto bots with gold teeth... Comic relief, I guess?

Pluses: loud, constant action, Megan Fox has better acting skills this time around, and someone I love makes a cameo. Good times.

Anyway, I don't want to give anything away. Not that anything is a surprise after watching trailers these days. I mean, am I right or am I right?

Finally, Part 4

2009-06-24T03:25:00.001-07:00

4. and 5. The Unstrung Harp and The Hapless Child by Edward Gorey

Edward Gorey is crazy. This man can write hilariously one second and then write the most ironic depressing thing you've ever laid your eyes upon the next. The funny thing is that his books look like they are aimed at children but for the love of Pete do not allow any child you know to read these. I mean, Gorey can be innocent enough at times but even when he is, the subject matter is nothing a child would be interested in.

So, if you really want to be depressed read The Hapless Child. If you want to read something that is nothing like the title and yet is like the title but in a very unexpected way read The Unstrung Harp. The latter is actually really funny and I could not help but (WARNING: NERD ALERT) read the entire thing outloud with a British accent. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it! It is the most entertaining thing you could do all day.

Finally, Part 3

2009-06-24T03:24:00.001-07:00

3. The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories by Tim Burton

Not much to say here except that if you love Tim Burton or his films at all then read this and you will get it and love it dearly. It is creepy. It is bizarre. It is sad yet humorous at the same time. It is great. My personal favorite story is "Jimmy, the Hideous Penguin Boy". Its type of humor is right up my alley, which will be obvious to you the second you read it.

If you really want to read it but don't feel like buying it or borrowing it you can read it in its entirety here which also includes the illustrations.

Finally, Part 2

2009-06-24T03:22:00.000-07:00

2. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

I've had this book in my possession for a long time now and it was just another one that I thought sounded interesting but was never in the perfect mood to read. I finally took it off its dusty shelf and realized how short it was so I decided to finally read through it. I am so glad that I did!

This book is fantastic! If you like The Little Prince or Candide (more on that later) then you would love this book. Even if you've never read either of those you will still love this book.

It is simply a story of a Spanish shepherd boy who discovers his destiny and goes in search of it in a "strange land". He meets a king, a gypsy, a thief, and eventually an alchemist who help him to realize his dream. There are some breathtaking moments of realization and discovery that just made my heart smile. I would love to describe my favorite part but it would be much better for you if you discovered it yourself. I am sure you will know which part it is!

One of the aspects of this book that really made me fall in love with it was its reference to Christianity, Islam, and Judaism all throughout the story. There are references to Jewish kings, Allah, Jesus, Mary, etc. It is amazing how Coelho incorporated so much into such a simple story.

This has definitely made its way to my top 10 book list. It makes me feel the way I felt when I first read Alice's Adventures in Wonderland because it is so simple yet beautiful and imaginative.

Read this book and then if you love it as much as I did then definitely pick up The Little Prince afterward. I am actually just now starting to read Candide (which I have finally decided is pronounced, CAN-DEED) but have read in reviews of The Alchemist that they are both very similar. If it is any good, I will let you know!

Brushstrokes across the sky...

2009-06-23T19:44:00.000-07:00

I know Laverne is going to love this!

Looking at the sky this evening as the sun set gave me chills.

This is art...

Caitlin's Closet: The Debut!

2009-06-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

Ello, ello!

At the behest of a certain someone, I have decided that I should start a segment on my blog entitled "Caitlin's Closet" where I post photos of some of my fashion creations. You have the great fortune of reading the very first in a series of (hopefully) countless future posts. Enjoy!

Leave your love in the comments, love!

I wanted to come up with a different way of wearing that plaid top that I usually wear open over t-shirts. I'm wearing black knee-highs but no shoes... That happens to me quite frequently. I'll have a kick-butt outfit and no shoes to go with it. Ho hum. Such is life, I suppose.

Plaid top: Forever21, skirt: Forever21, knee-highs: Target, studded belt: Wal-Mart

This is my dressed-down version of the above. Boots instead of knee-highs and denim shorts instead of a skirt.

Denim shorts: Savers (American Eagle Brand), boots: Steve Madden

So, how did that go? Any suggestions or changes you think should be made? Leave 'em in the comments!

Finally.

2009-06-21T01:36:00.000-07:00

Alright. OK. I haven't blogged in awhile, that is true. I'm not sure why it has become increasingly difficult for me to write about all the myriad things floating about my cerebellum. However, since I am awake at 1:37am the morning before Father's Day my brain has decided that it needs to expel some of its junk in order for me to get some R&R.

I recently went on a literary tirade exploring the works of Vonnegut, Tim Burton, Edward Gorey, and Paulo Coelho. Why I didn't take the time to blog about each of them, I shall never understand. I suppose now is the best time to explore what I gathered from these marvels of literature.

1. Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut:

I read Breakfast of Champions awhile back when Julie and I had one of our very first (if not the first) adventures at Bookman's. I purchased the aforementioned books and read Breakfast of Champions shortly after. I loved it. I can't remember how the timeline went but Julie read Cat's Cradle before I did and loved it as well. I had then much more recently been told by someone else that Cat's Cradle is the best Vonnegut book out there. I finally decided to read it and was not disappointed.

Although I am more inclined to regard Breakfast of Champions as my favorite Vonnegut book thus far, Cat's Cradle was also very entertaining. The story confused me at the very beginning for some reason. After about 20 or so pages I wasn't really sure of what I was reading. I started getting into it soon after that, though, and loved every word to the very end. I loved the fake religion of Bokonon! So hilarious! In fact, pictured to the left is an example of a common practice in Bokononism: boko-maru.

Vonnegut's writing style is witty, sarcastic, and straightforward. His characters are well-formed which makes it easy to picture each one in detail. They are also each very unique and have their own little quirks. For example, in one moment in the book Angela Hoenikker, a seemingly simple woman with not much depth or beauty, plays the clarinet along with a jazz record and everyone is completely taken aback at how beautifully she can play. Similarly, Newt Hoenikker, Angela's younger brother (who also happens to be a midget) loves to paint and Frank, the eldest Hoenniker sibling, loves to build miniature towns.

Oh, and I loved this quote: "So, some people got free furniture, and some people got bubonic plague."

Overall, a great read.

(Alright, kind of a side note but still related: I wanted to read my old blog post about Breakfast of Champions from last summer so I just clicked on it a moment ago and started reading. One of the first things I said was something I just said: "Kurt Vonnegut's writing style is so witty, sarcastic, and to-the-point" Almost word for word. I am consistent at least...)

Alright, now that I have typed my eyeballs and my brain into a paste I think I should probably retire for the night. It only took me an hour and a half to write this... I hope people actually read this crap.

Happy Father's Day!

The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy

2009-06-17T02:30:00.000-07:00

This, my friends, is the beauty of my life... and it's all thanks to Julie that it is now in my possession (which, I just discussed with Julie, is an awfully-spelled word).

See, I make illogical decisions sometimes. In fact, my life is hardly ever what one would consider "logical". I get by, however, so it is not top banana, I mean priority, for me to fix this. Every once in awhile my friends or family will let me know that what I am doing is (how shall I put this...) stupid.

This was the case tonight at Bookman's, the greatest bookstore I have ever entered the pearly gates of. Seriously, this place makes Border's look like a giant-corporate-monster-overpriced-jerk-face. Which, it kind of is. If you want the children of America to become more literate then stop selling Captain Underpants for $15 a pop. Beside the point I guess...

I had two books I only semi-cared about but thought that I cared more about and struck Tim Burton gold and thought, "Aww... I can't afford all of these.... So I'm not going to dig up this gigantic piece of solid gold that is just sitting here in this gigantic hole that would be so easy to pick up my 10 month old nephew could do it with his pinky." Then Julie came along and in her infinite wisdom suggested I put back the semi-cared about books and purchas just the Tim Burton one. Wow, what an idea!!!! It was like Julie had to point out that the sky was blue to someone who already knew that the sky was blue but forgot in a moment of idiocy.

Needless to say, I took her advice and couldn't be happier. Except I'm pissed off about something else now.

I am not a shallow idiot. I just want you all to know that.

I am pissed off about something that others would just blow off and have blown off but I can't seem to. You know how people make assumptions about you and you just shrug it off as no big deal but then it happens over and over and over again and even when it's not necessarily a personal observation, when it is made even generally about you it pisses you off? Yeah, me either. That's a lie. I totally know what I mean.

Alright, to be completely honest, I'm pulling a James Frey right now. He made up a bunch of stuff to make his memoir more exciting. I exaggerate my pissed-off-ness and self-loathing to make my blog more entertaining. I hope my "Million Little Lies" didn't put you off too much. I'm feeling kinda saucy at the moment.

Oh, and this:

Creativity/Productivity

2009-06-16T17:12:00.000-07:00

I'm never quite sure, exactly, why it becomes difficult for me to blog when there is so much time left open in my day. Granted, I've been trying to fill each day with at least one task that keeps me occupied or gets me out of the house for a little while. Yesterday, I did some chores around the house.

Today, I ventured over to the post office. I had a funny thought while I was walking up to the door, actually. I'm wearing a semi-adorable outfit today that I put together this morning. I thought to myself, Man, I really wish these packages had vintage clothing, art, some crafty piece, a photograph, SOMETHING interesting enclosed within them. I mean, I am a creative person. I don't have a job. I need to start filling my days with artsy projects and selling them in my own store on ebay! Julie and I have had this idea in the past but it never really panned out. I mean, how perfectly great would that be for me? I may not make enough to pay all my bills but it would be more change in my pocket than I have now! I can still look for a normal job while working on projects and I'd be using my creativity in a productive way for once.

I'm going to need some time to plan this out more, I only just came up with this today. I haven't even thought of what I'll do, exactly. However, it gives me some kind of excitement and hope.

If you have any ideas as to what I can make, let me know. I'd really appreciate it!

Do the truffle shuffle

2009-06-11T13:40:00.000-07:00

As always, as I listened to my iPod in my car today I became particularly bored with my overplayed playlists so I decided to put it on shuffle.

What came forth from the depths of my iPod's soul chilled me and thrilled me to my very core...

The following is the best shuffle mix I have ever heard:

Coal to Diamonds- The Gossip
Rise Up- Diane Birch
Amish Paradise- Weird Al
Algo Esta Cambiando- Julieta Venegas
Headlock- Imogen Heap
Semi-Charmed Life- Third Eye Blind
Natalie Marie and 1cc- Spill Canvas
Play for Today- The Cure
Mind's Eye- dc Talk
Siamese Twins- The Cure
Skeleton Key- Margot & the Nuclear So and So's
Landslide- Smashing Pumpkins
Burritos- Sublime
Know Your Onion!- The Shins
Subbcultcha- Pixies
I Just Can't Wait to be King- The Lion King (YES! hahaha)
Dutch Courage- Spill Canvas
No Good Deed- Idina Menzel, Wicked Soundtrack

Throw in about three skips over some Doors music (I really should just take them off...) and there you have it!

See, for me, what makes a shuffle mix great is when it is made up of songs that I know the words to. If I know the words to a song, no matter how terrible it is or how much I hate it, I will sing along and have a good time. I LOVE singing along to songs more than just about anything musical. I can't play an instrument, I can't read music, and I can't actually sing but when I am singing along to a good song, I feel like Pavarotti!

Oh, and the other thing that makes the shuffle feature great is that when you have an experience like mine, it makes you feel like your iPod is giving you a mix tape... Awww!

Tell me about a great shuffle/mix that you love!

P.S.
Picture courtesy of Me. That's right, I am an artist.

Remodel

2009-06-10T03:55:00.000-07:00

I have officially "remodeled" my blog and I love it. I don't even use this blog and I think this one is way cuter than my other one...

Hohum... Maybe I should start using this one?

What do you think?

Alright, I gotta know...

2009-05-06T17:10:00.000-07:00

Who's been linking to my new blog through here? Seriously, everytime I check my blog stats there are views linked from here and I'm like super curious to know who even looks at this anymore. It amuses me and confuses me!

P.S.
This does not mean I am blogging on here again, really. I just HAD to know!

New Blog

2009-01-03T15:36:00.000-08:00

I know there is nothing particularly "wrong" with this blog but because of a recent discovery by a friend, I have decided to give WordPress a try for awhile. All my blog posts from Blogger are featured on my new blog as well as new posts. We'll see how long it takes me to miss this blog!

Caitlin's Blog: Everything is Nonsense

Enjoy!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-24T11:08:00.000-08:00

Gotta love Botticelli.

Blue Like Jazz

2008-12-20T01:35:00.000-08:00

I started reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller again yesterday because I was bored, couldn't sleep, didn't want to be on my computer, didn't want to watch a movie- basically did not want to do any of the normal mundane things I do to pass time. So, I decided that I needed some spiritual guidance and picked up one of my favorite books to read one more time.

It's funny because even though I read this book before and adored it, I feel as though I am reading it for the first time again. I think it's because I have grown a lot in a lot of different ways since the first time I read it so it's as though it is being read with new eyes and a new understanding. I also think I am applying it to my life a lot more this time around.

That's a tough thing about spirituality and life in general I guess: you can be greatly affected by something and want this affect to change your life but it's all lead by emotion. Once that emotion wears off you go right back to the way you were as though this "something" never even entered your life. At least, I know that has happened to me a lot in my lifetime. Whether it be when I rededicated myself to Christ at Acquire the Fire or even when I decided to start working out and getting in shape. While it was happening, it was the most amazing feeling in the world. I felt like a changed person. Once I got comfortable in my life again I went right back to being the lazy person that I am. That's really what my problem is, you know. I am just a really lazy person who never wants to put forth the effort to change my ways because staying sedentary is just plain easier.

Going back to Blue Like Jazz, I decided this time around that I wanted to highlight stuff that hit me as it hit me. Unfortunately, last night I was being (*cue buzz word*) lazy and didn't want to get up to get a pen or pencil. Thus, I missed out on some valuable underlining. Just now, however, I picked up a pencil I had found in my purse earlier in the evening and started skimming through the previously read chapters to find stuff to underline. From now on I am going to keep this pencil with my book so that I won't lose another opportunity to underline key phrases and quotes that hit me the hardest.

So far, I have already underlined a lot of stuff. I wanted to share some of it with you now! :)

Here is a poem by C.S. Lewis that Miller quotes in his book. It really hit me hard and if you are a Christ follower, it will probably strike a chord with you too:

All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through;
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

Peace, reassurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin;
I talk of love- a scholar's parrot may talk Greek-
But self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

Translate it as you will. To me, this poem is talking about our hypocritical sinful nature. We sing about our love of God at church, we tell others how much we love God but how do we truly show evidence of that? We need to love God's children before ourselves and that is showing God that you love him.

It's funny, I was randomly listening to "Jesus Freak" today on my iPod and at the end of that song, because I've had that CD for most of my life it seems like, I know immediately which song follows it. At the beginning of "What if I Stumble" by dcTalk a man is talking and he says, "The single greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable." That poem and what it means made me think of that. We need to stop being hypocrites because the rest of the world is looking down on us and watching us. They see Christians acting like idiots, acting completely against what Jesus taught, then going to church every Sunday and passionately praising him. (I will be the first to admit that I am one of those people. I'm not going to dish out my opinion and not take it to heart too... I'm teaching myself in this process as well, trust me.) Non-Christians see all of that and think that that is what a Christian is supposed to be like. A Christian is a follower of Christ and His teachings so why aren't we doing that? Why is it "easy" (or at least more compulsory in their beliefs) for Orthodox Jews to follow the 613 laws that G-d laid out for them and yet it is near impossible for us as Christians to follow the TEN Commandments?

Maybe you have some answers to some of my questions, some disagreements to some of my opinions, or just additions to what I've said. If so, PLEASE comment. I really want to expand my brain and my heart as much as possible in this matter. Thank you!

P.S.
Sorry this thing is so long. Unbelievably this is not even half the stuff that has run through my brain since reading this book again and I'm only halfway through it!

Blatant

2008-12-16T23:36:00.000-08:00

"Seven, but I look a lot older."

2008-12-15T22:13:00.001-08:00

Julie and I went to a sneak preview of "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" tonight and it was a very pleasing film to watch. It was extremely well-made and the story was really different and awesome. They did a really good job making Cate Blanchette and Brad Pitt look really young and really old. Like, a really ridiculously good job.

I cried, of course. Probably not for any reasons you all will cry, though. I don't want to give anything away and I don't think I am by explaining this but the whole story takes place in New Orleans and the story ends with Hurricane Katrina hitting. It didn't delve into that a whole lot but the very last scene made me cry. Having been there and having a connection to that place has made my heart save a big section of itself especially for New Orleans. Love it.

Oh, and aP, did you ever see them filming this movie in NOLA? So much of it was either filmed there or in ridiculously good replicas of it. It looked so stinkin BEAUTIFUL in the movie!!!

OK, that is all. When it comes out on Christmas Day you should all see it. It's really good and heartfelt, etc. Good stuff.

The NEW Bionic MAN!

2008-12-14T21:33:00.001-08:00

This is going to be my dad's new bionic knee from now on starting tomorrow!

We're all really excited for him to no longer have pain in his knee, for him to be able to walk without a limp, and most importantly for him to be able to play some mild sports again! I know that sounds like a weird priority but if you know my dad at all, then you know that sports are his life. If he misses a Dallas Cowboys game he goes insane. Not being able to play football with my brother this season at church has been pure torture for him. So... that is really important for him to be able to do again. Mind you, he can't play high-contact sports so luckily for him, the church league is non-tackle! :)

If you read this before tomorrow, please pray for him. I want his recovery to be as quick and painless as possible. He's been suffering for so long that it's high time he's pain free! Thanks.

I'll try to update this a little as his rehabilitation progresses. No promises because... well because I am not very blog-update-reliable. I shall try my best, though.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers! Later gators.